The Day of the Iguana Read Free Page B

been sitting outside the car on the curb. He drew a line with his fingernail along the upholstery.
    â€œRobert,” he said. “If you cross this line, there will be consequences. Large ones and small ones.”
    â€œCan you give me an example, please?” asked Robert. Frankie reached over and gave Robert a noogie on his head, not too hard, just enough to make his point. Robert squealed like a kitten.
    â€œAnd that’s a small consequence,” Frankie said.
    Ashley and I slid into the middle bench. And my mom, without even calling it, got shotgun. I tell you, adults have it made.
    We drove down 78th Street, which is our block, past Mr. Kim’s grocery store. He was outside, using his green garden hose to put fresh water in the buckets of roses. We passed our school, P.S. 87. It was closed up tight, which is the way I like it best.
    When we reached Columbus Avenue, we stopped at the pet store and dropped Katherine off. George was waiting outside, and he was so happy to see her. Mr. Furry and Miss Scaly.
    We drove through Central Park. Lots of people were out walking their dogs. I saw a dachshund that looked just like Cheerio, except he was dressed in a plaid overcoat with four little red boots. Once on Halloween, we put a sailor hat on Cheerio. He didn’t like that and started doing his spinning thing. That time, he spun around so fast that the sailor hat flew off his head and landed directly on top of my dad’s head. It was amazing. If I knew the number, I would’ve called Ripley’s Believe It or Not. From that day on, we realized that Cheerio was a dog who will not wear people clothes. I give him credit for that.
    As we headed to the Triborough Bridge that takes you out of town, I turned and looked back at the skyline of Manhattan. Whenever I look at all the skyscrapers poking their tops up into the clouds, I always feel proud that New York is my city and lucky that I get to live in such an exciting place.
    We settled in for the ride to Westhampton. My mom, who is working on inventing healthy snack foods for the twenty-first century, offered everyone a taste of her new salt-free, wheat-free, taste-free soy pretzel snack that she stuffed with rice cheese. We all said we were really full.
    When the city was no longer in view, my mom turned in her seat and said the dreaded words.
    â€œLet’s sing some travel songs.”
    She does this on every car trip we take. She has a list in her head of really horrible songs-ones that are both long and bad-like “Found a Peanut”, “My Darling Clementine”, and of course, the always awful “Row Row Row Your Boat.”
    â€œThat sounds like fun,” said Robert, and Emily agreed.
    What is wrong with them? Don’t they know the difference between fun and not-fun?
    â€œNo singing,” I begged. The last thing I wanted to hear was Robert belting out “Row Row Row Your Boat” in his nasal little twang.
    â€œThen how about a game?” my mom suggested.
    â€œGreat idea,” said Robert. “Why don’t we drill each other on multiplication tables?”
    â€œWhy don’t I drill you through the backseat,” whispered Frankie.
    â€œI’ve got it,” Emily said. “Let’s shout out Amazing Iguana Facts.”
    Can you believe this girl and I come from the same mother and father?
    â€œIguanas are born with eighty teeth, but by the time they get to be Mr. Zipzer’s age, they have one hundred and twenty teeth,” Robert said, without missing a beat.
    â€œRobert,” Emily said, “that is fascinating.”
    I turned around and stared at Emily. I have shared a house with this girl since the day she was born, but I had never heard that tone of voice come out of her. It sounded so sweet, like maple syrup covering a buckwheat pancake.
    â€œFurthermore,” Robert went on, staring straight at Emily, “did you know that two-thirds of an iguana’s length is its