The Cluttered Corpse Read Free Page B

stores, sometimes in gas stations. If you’re driving along and you see a garage sale, there are always so many lonely plush toys. But then you don’t even have to leave the house, when you have catalogs and eBay.”
    â€œAnd you love every one of them.”
    â€œI love the idea of them. But they’re not all sentimental, no. Any that Dwayne bought, which would be hundreds, I guess, those I adore. Some of the others, honestly, are still in their boxes; most of them have their original tags on. I must be buying them in my sleep.”
    â€œMmm,” I said.
    She managed a weak smile. “But they are too adorable for words, aren’t they? What kind of dogs do you have?”
    â€œMiniature dachshunds. They’re called Truffle and Sweet Marie.”
    â€œWiener dogs, that’s lovely. Small and cute. Hold on, I think I have some toy wiener dogs. I saw them the other day.”
    â€œOh, that’s okay,” I said.
    Maybe she didn’t hear me. She marched over to the closet and whipped open the door. Naturally, the closet was full of stuffed animals. I had no idea where Emmy Lou kept her designer wardrobe, but it sure wasn’t here.
    She put her hands on her hips and frowned. “Now where did they get to?”
    â€œDon’t worry about it.”
    â€œThere they are!” She reached onto a top shelf and pulled out a box. “Oh, no, they’re mice, not wiener dogs. But they’re too cute for words.”
    She placed the box in my hands. “I’d like you to have them.”
    â€œThanks so much, but I couldn’t.” Meaning please don’t give me a pair of stuffed toy mice dressed as a bride and groom mounted on a foam wedding cake with cheese decorations. They wouldn’t last a New York minute in the room with Truffle and Sweet Marie.
    Emmy Lou turned on her full-wattage smile. “It would make me very, very happy.”
    This was obviously stressful for her. No point in making it worse. I smiled soothingly. “Okay, thanks, they’re very…”
    â€œThat’s wonderful,” she said, clapping her hands. “Now the bathroom. We plan to make it en suite when we get to the next stage. We have some fabulous ideas for it. There are hardly any stuffed animals in there.”
    I blurted, “Hardly any? You mean there are some?”
    Emmy Lou said, “The type that go near water, like frogs and turtles and—”
    A loud thump shook the cathedral window. Two hideously contorted faces glowered in at us. A flash lit up the window.
    Emmy Lou screamed and fell back.

Don’t put off unappealing tasks.
    They’ll multiply and sneak up on you.
    Pick one and chip away at it.
2
    I dropped my pen. I barely stopped myself from screaming too.
    The faces remained pressed against the glass. One had dark eyes, a nose flattened against the window, and an expression somewhere between demonic and demented. The other, paler face grinned like a mischievous troll.
    Emmy Lou slumped onto the bed, dislodging a massive stuffed zebra. Her breathing was ragged.
    I stumbled over fallen plush toys to reach her side. “Are you all right?”
    â€œI’m fine! I’m fine. Honestly,” she gasped. She was far from fine, her face the color of spoiled milk, her pupils the size of dimes.
    But what had happened?
    I raced over to the window and stared out. “What the hell is that? I mean who?”
    â€œNothing,” Emmy Lou insisted. It would have been more convincing if her voice hadn’t sounded choked. “I’m so sorry, Charlotte. You must think I’m crazy, screeching like a—”
    â€œCrazy? People are banging on your second-floor bedroom window. That doesn’t happen every day. It’s worth screaming about.”
    â€œHe startled me, that’s all.”
    Outside the two figures disappeared, shrieking with laughter as they clambered down the oak tree.
    â€œWho was that? Who startled