The China Doll Read Free Page B

tonight."
    Miranda blushed. It was still so hard to
believe that Alex, the man she loved from the time she was five,
looked at her like that . Three years ago she would have
given anything for it. "I don’t know if tonight’s a good night,"
she said quietly.
    He traced her fingers. "And why is that?"
    "Sometimes it’s just a little weird to wake
up in your house, in your room."
    "We could stay in your old room, if you’d
like."
    Miranda laughed a little bit. "That might be
differently weird."
    "So should you sneak me into your house after
everyone’s asleep?"
    "I’m pretty sure Richard doesn’t sleep that
much these days."
    Alex intertwined his fingers into hers. "Then
I suppose I’ll have to buy a new house, one without any old
memories. One that we can make our own."
    "Alex, stop." Miranda pulled her hand away
and sipped her water. "Please don’t sell your house."
    "If that’s what it takes, that’s what I’ll
do." Miranda’s heart stopped. It reminded her of how her heart used
to stop when she was with Michael. But this was different. "It’s
just a house. It’s not more important than making you happy."
    "I’m just not able to tonight, please."
    Alex shook his head, still playing with her
hand. "I understand. I’m disappointed, but I hope you don’t hold
that against me."
    The waiter came with their order. Miranda
picked and pushed at her food, unable to eat more than a spoonful
of soup. She didn’t look at Alex while they ate.
    After Alex paid the check, he stood and held
out his hand. "Will you walk with me at least?"
    She took his hand. "Of course."
    They walked down Newbury Street until they
reached the Public Garden, then they walked to the bridge over the
swan boats. "Too bad they’re already closed," Miranda said, looking
at the dock the swan boats sat in over the summer. "It’s so warm;
it would be nice to go for a ride. Hellie loved it when I took
her."
    Alex smiled and put his arm around her. She
leaned her head on his shoulder. "I’m sorry," she whispered. "I’m
not trying to lead you on. I don’t want you to be disappointed. You
don’t have to be. I know you’ve got a big black book filled with
the names of people you could see tonight as soon as you snap your
fingers. And you should."
    "You’re not a kid? Then why do you still say
such foolish things?" He tilted his head down and pulled her into a
kiss. She liked his kisses, at least when they started. They were
strong, but not forceful. They weren’t kisses that she was afraid
of. He read her so well. He knew when she just needed to be held;
he knew when he could go further. Of course, he should know. "Why
do you think I would want anyone else after having you?"
    Miranda nervously rubbed the space between
Alex’s shoulder and chest. "I just—I don’t know what I should do
now."
    "The fault is mine, darling," he said kissing
her again. "I had so many chances with you. I know that. There were
so many lies between us—my lies. I thought it was best if I stayed
away from you, even when you were just a few doors away. And then
when you were gone..." He embraced her and sighed. "You took a
piece of me with you. You’re back, but I know I still have a lot of
damage to undo. I’m just asking you to let me."
    "Alex, you can’t change the things that
happened. I’m not asking you to. I forgive you. I know you wouldn’t
do the same things again—any of it." She felt Alex shudder in her
arms, and she realized that he was crying. "Oh, Alex. Why are you
crying?"
    He wiped away his tears. "It’s been a long
time since someone forgave me," he said quietly. "I’m not sure I
deserve your forgiveness." He kissed her hand. "But that’s not what
I want to hear you say to me, as selfish as it sounds. I want to
hear that you love me."
    "You know I love you, Alex." She was trying
not to cry too. "I’ve always loved you."
    He shook his head. "I’ll take what you give
me, my dear, but I want it all."
    Miranda pushed Alex away and turned