The Boy Who Never Grew Up Read Free Page A

back,” she murmured. “Nice meeting you, Hoagy. Let’s go, troops!”
    And out the door they went. It seemed uncommonly silent now.
    “God, I love my kids,” he confessed. “They make it all worthwhile. All the lies. All the bullshit. You got any?”
    “Not that I know of.”
    “When I see Matthew and Pennyroyal fighting over little Georgie this way …” His eyes filled with tears. “The sweetest, sunniest baby you ever saw, Hoagy. Matthew adores him. Would you believe he had a fucking circus waiting there in the front yard when she brought him home from the hospital? Elephants, clowns, chimpanzees …” The tears began streaming down his face. He was a very emotional guy. I couldn’t imagine what he was like at a Shirley Temple movie. “It’s tearing him apart, Hoagy. Me, too. Because, Christ, we love Pennyroyal. She’s family. There are no villains here. Just two people who can’t stop hurting each other. She’s a mixed-up kid. An actress, and you know what they’re like.”
    “Intimately.”
    He dabbed at his eyes with a napkin. “That was her on the phone just now. She was crying, she’s so upset about this shit in today’s paper. It’s totally one hundred percent false. She’s absolutely not pregnant.”
    “There goes my bet.”
    “Which bet?”
    “Never mind.”
    “Seems she went to see her gynecologist yesterday. Routine checkup. Somebody must have spotted her in the parking lot, followed her up there, and seen the guy’s name on the door. One thing leads to another and—”
    The phone rang.
    “Sorry. It never stops.” He limped over to the desk by the window and picked it up. “Yeah? … Yeah? … No, absolutely not. We will not give Johnny Forget gross profit participation. What do you mean, don’t we love him? We’re offering him a job, aren’t we? Name one other studio that is. He hasn’t worked in a year. He’s been in jail for attempted murder. He’s been in Betty Ford for drugs. In spite of all of that we want him— because we love him. And because the public thinks of him as Badger,” he added quickly. “But if he holds out for gross points, we’ll just get somebody else … I am not threatening you. I’m stating our final position. Take it or leave it …” No cream puff indeed. This doughboy was solid muscle inside. “Fine! Deal’s dead! Deal’s dead!” Not a bad imitation by Benjamin, either. Maybe the kid had a future in mimicry. He certainly didn’t have one in sports. “Fine! We’ll be happy to forget it! … You’re sick of ‘Forget’ jokes? Hey, I knew Johnny long before you did, pal. I knew him when he still pronounced it For-jay. He happened to be a nice, sweet French Canadian kid then. And he didn’t have a greedy scumbag like you for an agent!” He slammed down the phone and grinned at me sheepishly. “Now you know what I do all day—I’m the Abominable No Man.”
    “Ever say yes?”
    “Somebody has to be the adult.”
    “And that’s you?”
    “That’s me. Just between us, I can’t stand Johnny. The little turd’s a train wreck waiting to happen. But Matthew has to have him.”
    “His new picture is a fourth Badger Hayes?”
    “Yes,” he replied curtly. He phoned downstairs and stopped all of his calls for an hour. Then he limped out onto the terrace.
    There was a table and chairs out there, and a not terrible view of the cabs playing bumper car up and down Park Avenue. A room service cart with coffee, pastries, and fresh strawberries awaited us. Lulu followed us out and curled up under my chair. Shelley poured us coffee and snatched a Danish.
    “Don’t tell my wife,” he said, gobbling it hungrily. “She’s always on me about my weight.”
    “Not to worry. Keeping secrets is my specialty.”
    “I hope it is, Hoagy,” he said, turning serious. “I hope it is. Now, where were we?”
    “Pennyroyal.”
    “Oh, right. All this crap in the papers. Half of it is nothing more than the tabloids playing their usual tricks. Like