The Boy Project Read Free Page A

Vine”
because she’s always climbing all over the trunk of some guy or another.
    While I was observing James yesterday, I couldn’t help noticing that it looks like The
Vine was trying to put down roots near him.
    Hmmm. I might need to start getting ready for school. It’s getting lighter — charcoal gray — outside. Besides, I smell bacon.
Bus stop (AKA my front yard)
    Great. The bus is about to stop and here comes Julie breezing by on her bike. I hate when she does that! Because you pretty much suffer in comparison when your cute, athletic older sister (who already went jogging at the crack of dawn) blows by you on two wheels while you’re standing as still as a lawn ornament, waiting to board the slowest and most embarrassing form of transportation possible. I’d rather ride a camel to school. Seriously.
First period
    Dear Mrs. Willis,
    Please stop talking. I’m missing a great opportunity to continue my research. See, I have an awesome view of Phillip Bernard’s profile right now. I would very much like to make a few notes about He Who Will Soon Be Known As Subject #4. But if I get out my index cards, it’ll call attention to the fact that I’m not taking notes on your lecture. Which I am not.
    You are too far away, however, to realize that I use this particular notebook as a journal, so you probably think that I’m writing about General Lee’s surrender, when instead I’m writing about the most important thing in the world: finding a boyfriend.
    You talk a lot about democracy, Mrs. Willis, but if we took a vote, I’m pretty sure everyone would rather learn about relationships than the Civil War. But we won’t take a vote, will we? One thing school has taught me is that American democracy pretty much dies at the classroom door.
    It’s not that I think Phillip Bernard is “the one for me.” But you never know. He does have one feature that I’m really into. His eyebrows! I have a good view of the right one from here. It is perfectly arched — almost like an elf’s.
    Guys say stuff like “I’m a face man” or “I’m a leg man.” (Okay, guys don’t really talk like that around me, but I’ve heard them on TV.) Given the face-man/leg-man thing, I guess I have to say that I’m an eyebrow girl. I always notice a guy’s eyebrows.
    I think the world is full of closet eyebrow women. If not, how do you explain all of those celebrities with great, unusual, or highly arched eyebrows? Robert Pattinson! Orlando Bloom! Zac Efron! And it can’t be mere coincidence that lead singers are usually whichever band member has the best eyebrows. Like Joe Jonas! Anyway, Phillip has some very nice eyebrows. Way better than Evan’s, by the way.
    Oh, Mrs. Willis. You are still talking. Talking about people who are not eligible to participate in my boyfriend study because they are . . . dead. I’ll have to take notes on Phillip later. Thanks a lot.
    Signed, but never to be delivered by,
    Kara McAllister
    P.S. Ha! Was able to get these notes during the last five minutes of class! Your filibuster didn’t bust me, Mrs. Willis!

Lunch
    I had just enough time to update my data on Subject #3 before Tabs joined me.

    Yep. James and The Vine are definitely an item! She’s giving him a hug right now. He seems to be enjoying it, too. Probably because he’s never had a girlfriend before. Not one that I know about, anyway. (Thanks to Tabbi, however, he’s an experienced kisser. Apparently.)
    Gina, on the other hand, has had so many boyfriends that it absolutely proves one thing: Life isn’t fair!

    These charts show exactly how life isn’t fair. Because The Vine keeps having more and more relationships, her growth chart shows a steady increase. But mine is always the same. Stagnant. Dormant. Dead. Can you even call it a chart if nothing changes?

    HOW can The Vine have had so many boyfriends when I