The Best Rootin' Tootin' Shootin' Gunslinger in the Whole Damned Galaxy Read Free Page B

inhuman. “You want to see someone who’s really crazy? Try him."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  Diggs squinted and peered off toward the Midway. “Which one do you mean—Jupiter or Batman?"
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Six of one, half a dozen of the other,” Flint responded. “They spent eight months trying to kill each other in the ring and damned near wrecked the carnival. Monk’ll never walk right again and Batman’s wings look like a piece of cloth that’s been shredded by the wind."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “But that’s all over."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “You think so, do you?” said Flint. “You think it’s perfectly sane for Jupiter Monk to give up training animals so he can spend the rest of his life working the Bozo cage with a refugee from Creature Features? Hell, they spend every penny they make trying to dunk each other, and I don’t think either of ’em has said more than ten words to anyone else during the past year. Give me a pleasant, pixilated catatonic like the Dancer every time."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Maybe you’d better talk to him, then,” persisted Diggs, pulling out a cigar and shielding his match from the warm breeze.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “I’ve known him for the better part of ten years and I haven’t found any subject that interests him yet,” said Flint. “Except Billy the Kid and the Younger Brothers and that whole crowd,” he added wryly. “If you know anything about the O.K. Corral, you go talk to him. My experience with cowboys and Indians begins and ends with John Wayne and Clint Eastwood."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “It’s not my job,” said Diggs defensively. “Hell, I’ve been with you longer than he has. I know what he’s like."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Well, then?"
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “I’m telling you he’s changed in the past couple of months, Thaddeus,” said Diggs, puffing vigorously on the cigar. “He used to just stare off into space, and you knew just by looking at him that he was back in Dodge City or Tombstone, saving proper young virgins from outlaws and Indians. But now he spends all his time sitting around moping."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “How can you tell the difference?” asked Flint with a smile.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Just look at him."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “He looked pretty animated in the tent last night."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Sure. But that’s the only time he ever comes alive."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Look, Rigger, any guy who enjoys having a batch of knives shot out of a machine at him isn’t playing with a full deck to begin with. As long as he does his job and shows up sober, he’s two steps ahead of most of the people around here. What else is new?” Flint ground his cigarette out in the dirt and lit another.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  Diggs rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Well, now that you mention it, I’m probably going to have to fire three of the games workers—the ones from Zartaska."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “What do Zartaskans look like?"
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “They’re the big jokers, look kind of like fat orange orangutans."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Didn’t we just take them on a couple of weeks ago?” asked Flint.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Yeah—and if we keep them for twenty years, there’s no way they’re ever going to learn how to make change. So next time you talk to your Corporation buddy Kargennian, tell him to send us three replacements."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “All right."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Is he going to give you any trouble about it?” asked Diggs. “Nothing personal, but it ain’t exactly a secret that you two ain’t the closest friends that ever were."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “No,” replied