The Best of Archy and Mehitabel Read Free Page B

eyes go on mehitabel i
    said feeling safer and she
    resumed her elocution
    we would rather be rowdy and gaunt and free
    and dine on a diet of roach and rat
    than slaves to a tame society
    ours is the zest of the alley cat
    fish heads freedom a frozen sprat
    dug from the gutter with digits frantic
    is better than bores and a fireside mat
    mehitabel us for the life romantic
    when the pendant moon in the leafless tree
    clings and sways like a golden bat
    i sing its light and my love for thee
    ours is the zest of the alley cat
    missiles around us fall rat a tat tat
    but our shadows leap in a ribald antic
    as over the fences the world cries scat
    mehitabel us for the life romantic
    persian princess i dont care that
    for your pedigree traced by scribes pedantic
    ours is the zest of the alley cat
    mehitabel us for the life romantic
    aint that high brow stuff
    archy i always remembered it
    but he was an elegant gent
    even if he was a highbrow and a
    regular bohemian archy him and
    me went aboard a canal boat
    one day and he got his head into
    a pitcher of cream and couldn t get
    it out and fell overboard
    he come up once before he
    drowned toujours gai kid he
    gurgled and then sank for ever that
    was always his words archy toujours
    gai kid toujours gai i
    have known some swell gents
    in my time dearie

archy interviews a pharaoh
    boss i went
    and interviewed the mummy
    of the egyptian pharaoh
    in the metropolitan museum
    as you bade me to do
    what ho
    my regal leatherface
    says i
    greetings
    little scatter footed
    scarab
    says he
    kingly has been
    says i
    what was your ambition
    when you had any
    insignificant
    and journalistic insect
    says the royal crackling

    greetings little scatter footed scarab says he
    in my tender prime
    i was too dignified
    to have anything as vulgar
    as ambition
    the ra ra boys
    in the seti set
    were too haughty
    to be ambitious
    we used to spend our time
    feeding the ibises
    and ordering
    pyramids sent home to try on
    but if i had my life
    to live over again
    i would give dignity
    the regal razz
    and hire myself out
    to work in a brewery
    old tan and tarry
    says i
    i detect in your speech
    the overtones
    of melancholy
    yes i am sad
    says the majestic mackerel
    i am as sad
    as the song
    of a soudanese jackal
    who is wailing for the blood red
    moon he cannot reach and rip
    on what are you brooding
    with such a wistful
    wishfulness
    there in the silences
    confide in me
    my imperial pretzel
    says i
    i brood on beer
    my scampering whiffle snoot
    on beer says he
    my sympathies
    are with your royal
    dryness says i
    my little pest
    says he
    you must be respectful
    in the presence
    of a mighty desolation
    little archy
    forty centuries of thirst
    look down upon you
    oh by isis
    and by osiris
    says the princely raisin
    and by pish and phthush and phthah
    by the sacred book perembru
    and all the gods
    that rule from the upper
    cataract of the nile
    to the delta of the duodenum
    i am dry
    i am as dry
    as the next morning mouth
    of a dissipated desert
    as dry as the hoofs
    of the camels of timbuctoo
    little fussy face
    i am as dry as the heart
    of a sand storm
    at high noon in hell
    i have been lying here
    and there
    for four thousand years
    with silicon in my esophagus
    and gravel in my gizzard
    thinking
    thinking
    thinking
    of beer
    divine drouth
    says i
    imperial fritter
    continue to think
    there is no law against
    that in this country
    old salt codfish
    if you keep quiet about it
    not yet
    what country is this
    asks the poor prune

    thinking
thinking
thinking
    my reverend juicelessness
    this is a beerless country
    says i
    well well said the royal
    desiccation
    my political opponents back home
    always maintained
    that i would wind up in hell
    and it seems they had the right dope
    and with these hopeless words
    the unfortunate residuum
    gave a great cough of despair
    and turned to dust and debris
    right in my face
    it being the only time
    i ever actually saw anybody
    put the cough
    into sarcophagus
    dear boss as i