The Best Medicine Read Free Page A

which earned her a stern look from one of the officers and a “fuck off” from Eleanor.
    Lauren spent the night sitting on one of the cement bunks, her back pushed against a wall. With Eleanor gone, the night passed with alarming slowness. Finally, at what Lauren figured had to be the next morning, the officers wheeled a TV into her cell.
    “Oh man, you’re not going to attempt to brainwash me by making me watch religious programming, are you?”
    The officer tried to suppress the quirk of his lips, and Lauren felt a little more like herself.
    “No,” the officer responded. “We find it easier to bring the judge to you, rather than taking you to the judge.” He turned the set on and then left the cell, locking it behind him.
    “Lauren Hastings,” the judge began. “This is not your hearing. This is your arraignment. You’re being charged with one count propulsion— Wait a minute. Does this really say propulsion of a missile?”
    Lauren flapped her arms and nodded her head in a that’s-what-I-said gesture.
    The judge looked annoyed, but continued. “Anyway, you’re also charged with one count of public intoxicationand one count of disorderly conduct. You have a right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided to you free at the cost of Fairfax County. The officer is going to give you a copy of your affidavit of probable cause as well as instructions for how to apply to the public defender’s office. Bail in this matter is being set at ten thousand dollars unsecured. Your preliminary hearing has been set for three days from today.”
    And then he was gone. Lauren couldn’t help but compare the man to the Wizard of Oz.
Maybe I should’ve asked him if he had a gift for me, like common sense.
    “What does it mean if bail is unsecured?” Lauren asked the officer when he returned a few minutes later to get the television.
    “It means you get to leave without paying anything as long as you show up to court.”
    “Well, thank God for that.” Lauren sighed, relieved.
    The officer continued, “I’ll get your affidavit, and then we’ll get you out of here. You need to call anyone to come pick you up?”
    “Yeah, I do. But I can wait ’til I’m released. Thanks.” Lauren had called her mom right after she’d been brought in the previous night but told her not to bother coming down to the station until they let her go.
    The officer came back a short while later with the necessary paperwork and then led Lauren out of her cell. Once she had retrieved all of her personal belongings, she dialed her mom from her cell phone.
    “I’m guessing you’ve been sprung?” her mom said as a greeting.
    “Yup, I’m a free woman.”
    “Okay, I’ll be right there.”
    Lauren sighed. “Thanks, Mom.”
    “Oh, anytime. It’s not every day I get the pleasure of picking my only daughter up from jail. I’m planning on taking some pictures of you out front, so be prepared.”
    “You’re a riot,” Lauren replied drolly.
    “No, I think I’ll leave the rioting to you.”
    Lauren hesitated for a second. “That was a good one.”
    “I know. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
    Lauren ended the call, walked outside, and sat down on a bench to wait for her mom. She pulled up soon after, and Lauren trudged toward the Explorer.
    “There’s my little criminal. How was the joint? Get any tattoos?”
    “Yeah, my new bitch Eleanor inked a skull and crossbones on my back. She was going to add a teardrop on my face, but she was transferred to the psych ward before we got to it.” Lauren reclined in the seat. “I’m freakin’ exhausted.”
    “Yeah, well, jail will do that to you.”
    “You speaking from experience?” Lauren asked.
    Her mom smiled. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”
    They drove in silence for a few minutes before her mom spoke. “Mickey called us this morning.”
    “Oh yeah?” Lauren asked tentatively.
    “You caused quite a bit of damage to his place, Lauren.”
    “I did