The Art of the Con Read Free Page A

This is a high quality writing pen that would be at home in any suit pocket or briefcase. It’s a perfect gift for anyone and, if you buy it on the high street it would easily cost you fifty pounds. I’m not asking fifty pounds. I’m not even asking twenty or ten! The price you pay today is just five pounds but I’m not just going to give you one—I’m going to give you twenty! That’s right, twenty beautiful pens—twenty fantastic gifts—for just five pounds! And remember, I guarantee satisfaction and I guarantee you will be happy!”
    The crowd blushed with money as everyone with a bag held out their cash in return for the large plastic packages, filled with pens. We even gave out grooming kits to anyone who missed them first time around.
    â€œTwenty pens for a fiver? Where else but the market do you get a deal like that? Now, remember, I guarantee satisfaction and I promise you will be happy so let me hear it: Who’s happy?” The crowd shouts back and more people gather to see what’s going on. “Put your hands in the air if you’re happy, keep your hands up. Alex, if they’re happy, give them their money back!”
    Five-pound notes were passed back to everyone. I suddenly found myself wishing we had more people to manage the crowd, but I pressed on and removed a large glass vase from its box.
    â€œThis is something you have all seen before, probably in the bigger shops—the ones with the biggest prices. It’s a vase, perfect for all those times your husband buys you flowers.” The crowd laughs. I noticed that Alex was still distributing five-pound notes from the last round of sales. The crowd was bigger than we had anticipated and it crossed my mind that we might be in serious trouble if the engine didn’t start or we couldn’t make a clean getaway. “This is the real deal, made from genuine Italian glass!” I snapped my finger against the cheap vase to create a ringing sound that seemed to prove something—but it didn’t matter; I could see that they already wanted to buy.
    â€œWho wouldn’t expect to pay sixty or even a hundred pounds for this in one of those shops? Not at the market! Here, we guarantee satisfaction and we guarantee to make you happy. Who has ten pounds for me?” This time the hands were in the air instantly and Alex started passing large colorful boxes containing cheap, poorly made vases. Again I settled the crowd down and asked “Who’s happy?” The crowd shouted back “I’m Happy!” and I smiled, getting deeper into the role. I shouted back “We guarantee satisfaction and we guarantee that you will be happy—Alex, give them their money back!”
    This time I waited until everyone had their money before reaching back for a handheld game system. Alex pointed to another box, and with the crowd watching, I pretended to remember something. Replacing the game, I reached into another large box and produced a wristwatch inside an impressive presentation case (in actual fact, it was cheap “slum,” a lookalike of more expensive watches that cost less than one US dollar when bought in large quantities).
    â€œLadies and gentlemen, I almost forgot one of our biggest bargains. Now, this is a gentleman’s watch and we have several different styles. You might recognize this one, it’s exactly the same as those watches you see in magazines and sold to people with more money than sense. This is not one of those watches—but you’d have to be an expert to know the difference! This very same model is sold less than a mile away for over sixty pounds and I have to admit that, even for that price, it’s a real bargain. Here at the market we are here to give you the very best products at the very best prices. If I told you this was forty pounds you’d think these were stolen—they’re not but when you hear the price you’re going to