The Adulterer's Unofficial Guide to Family Vacations, A Novel Read Free Page A

about sex.There wouldn’t be any on this trip – guaranteed.Instead, the yawning, black hole in my marriage was growing larger, and I was in danger of being swallowed by it.
    My mother always thought the wives of doctors complained too much.That having them gone so often would be a blessing, not a curse.She said it would be the best of being single and married at the same time.It’s great when he’s home, and when he’s gone you can eat what you want, watch TV, read a book and go to bed whenever you want.But believe me, it isn’t nearly as wonderful as it sounds.Over the past year, I found myself desperate for romantic attention from a husband who was never there, and giving it to his staff instead.Gee, my life sounds so glamorous, doesn’t it?My mind peeled back to the conversation I had with Mike (on the phone, as most conversations with my husband are these days) once we checked in.
    “Mike,” I started the conversation on the cell phone with a normal tone that quickly degenerated into fits of raspy sobs, “we’re here.”
    “Everything go okay?” Damn it.  He didn’t sound emotional.
    “Yeah,” I watched the kids jump happily from bed to bed, “no problems.”I neglected to tell him about the hotel snafu.It wouldn’t matter if he knew anyway.
    A sigh came across the line, “Laura, you know I’m sorry about this.”
    “Uh-huh.” Not sorry enough, you bastard, I thought to myself.
    Silence echoed on the other end, “Maybe I can break free in a few days and join you guys.”
    “I won’t count on it, Mike.”I tried not to sound so tired.I wanted him to think I didn’t have a care in the world.Of course I also wanted him to bleed.
    Another sigh came over the line, “I’m sorry.”I couldn’t decide if he really was.“I’ll call you in a couple of hours, ok?”
    I hung up as he tried to say “I love you.”I didn’t particularly love him back.
    Jenny and Ben bounced happily from one bed to another.Here we were at the “most exciting place on earth” and the beds held their interest as a thrill ride.I couldn’t help getting a little caught up in their enthusiasm.Still, it was late, we had just arrived and we had to unpack and settle in for the night.Tomorrow the twins could inflict unknown terrors upon at least one of the four parks, but for tonight, I had to get them to bed.
    The kids were reasonably good while I emptied the suitcase.My heart wasn’t in it.I opened drawers and filled them with every cartoon t-shirt, sweatshirt and pair of princess underpants we had.It would have gone well, too, if I hadn’t come across the dress.
    Why did I pack the dress?A sleek Betsey Johnson number I picked up in Vegas.I packed it for a night out.My fingers ran over the embroidered flowers on black velvet.When Mike cancelled, I spent a couple of hours unpacking to remove his clothes and re-pack mine.That really pissed me off.I’m a planner.I start packing for vacation a week in advance.It’s a good thing I didn’t come across one of his shirts or something.I found a reason to curse Mike all over again.
    Out here, at least the beer’s cold and the kids are asleep.Given that it’s only eight o’clock, I was nowhere near ready for bed.Mike had not called back.I looked at the idle cell phone in my hands.Yep, it’s on.Damn him.
    Another swig of beer and I tried to hold back from feeling sorry for myself.This will be good, I lied to myself.A chance for me and the kids to spend time together without Daddy.
    I suppose that’s unfair.But when you’re angry, you think and say unfair things.Still, there’s no denying that our marriage was pretty much over.We just celebrated our thirteenth anniversary.That couldn’t be good.Maybe it’s a jinxed year, like they say the seventh anniversary is.
    No, it’s something else.Mike’s job was a steady source of income, and a steady source of grief.This vacation fiasco seemed to prove that he regarded his work with more respect than his family. Well, that and