That Was Then... Read Free Page A

when she leaves school, she’s leaving me too. Of course, I could easily graduate early myself. But I was actually hoping to finish this year in style. And it’s no secret that I have a chance at being valedictorian. Not that it’s such a big thing. But I do remember how Mom always thought I would get it. And I guess I’d like to do it for her. Graduating early would wipe out those chances.
    “How’s Ben doing?” I ask, hoping to change the subject to something she likes better. But she just shrugs.
    “Everything okay with you two?”
    Again with the shrug. “We haven’t talked much lately.”
    “I don’t mean to be intrusive,” I say, “but if you’re getting married in, what, like two weeks? Well, shouldn’t you two be talking?”
    And then Nat bursts into tears.
    Oh, great. I try not to be too distracted as I navigate my way through traffic. I mean, getting in a wreck won’t help matters. Finally I decide to stop at the mini mart and get us both a cold drink. I ask her what she wants and then go inside to get it, relieved to be away from her for a few minutes.
    As I wait at the cash register, I try to figure out something to say to her. I mean, Nat knows that underneath my maid-of-honor good attitude (well, for the most part) I seriously question this marriage. But I also know that it’s not my life, not my decision. And I can’t exactly go out there and tell her she’s making a huge mistake. Still, I can’t help but think I should be willing to say something .
    “Here’s your change,” the woman tells me.
    I thank her and pick up the drinks, and as I walk back outside I silently pray. I ask God to give me words for Nat—whether they’re words of encouragement or warning, that they will be wrapped in love. I want to be willing to be used however God would use me.
    “Here you go,” I say cheerfully as I hand her a drink.
    “Thanks.” Nat gives me a wet-looking smile. “Sorry about that. I mean, losing it with you. I guess emotions can get a little whacked out when you’re pregnant.”
    “No, it’s okay,” I say as I get in. “And you must beunder a lot of stress too. There’s a lot going on in your life.”
    She nods and takes a sip. “You got that right. And hearing all the snide remarks at school this week, well, it doesn’t make things any easier.”
    “Yeah, I know.” Okay, I’m trying to be understanding, trying to hear what God would have me say to my friend.
    “And then there’s my mom…”
    “What’s up there?”
    “It’s like she’s going to be mad at me forever.” Nat sniffs. “I mean, she’s supposed to be a Christian, but honestly, I don’t feel much forgiveness from that woman.”
    “Oh…”
    And Nat goes on and on, finally settling on Ben. “He missed our premarriage counseling appointment with Pastor Tony last night.” She starts to cry again. “And he hasn’t talked to me all day.” She turns and looks at me. “Do you think he’s changed his mind?”
    Okay, I’m sorry, but I start to feel a tiny bit hopeful just now. Although I try not to show it. “I don’t know…”
    “What would I do, Kim?” Her eyes are wide with fear now. “If he backed out, I mean? What would I do ?”
    I consider my answer. “Well…you know that I happen to think adoption is a pretty good option for some children.”
    I can tell she’s about to get mad at me, to overreact, but then it’s like she’s trying to control herself too. Shejust slowly nods. “Yeah, it’s worked out okay for you.”
    “Okay?” I echo. “I think it’s been great. I mean, consider the alternatives. I could’ve remained in an impoverished Korean orphanage. Or worse yet, what if my mother had kept me and what if she was a hooker and what if I’d been forced to grow up in some horrible—”
    “I’m not a hooker, Kim.”
    “That’s not what I mean. But seriously, Nat, how hard would it be to be a teen mom, barely finished with high school and trying to raise a baby and support