Team Human Read Free Page A

normally inseparable, was at another table surrounded by the rest of the football team. All of them wore identical scowls. That was hilarious too.
    â€œI think it’s nice that he wants to mingle with us,” Cathy said.
    It really didn’t look like Francis wanted to mingle, though. Possibly this was best. You heard stuff about some vampires. A lot of Cathy’s mom’s magazines had cover stories like “Seven Sweet Nights in an Immortal’s Love Den.” I was glad it didn’t seem as if I’d have to worry about Cathy joining Francis’s harem.
    â€œYeah, he’s probably on a quest to rediscover his lost humanity,” Ty chimed in. Which was another common trashy magazine headline, but I suspected Ty was serious.
    If Francis did have a harem, it was starting to look like Ty would want in.
    â€œAnd it’s nice how he doesn’t want to, you know, take advantage of girls,” Cathy went on.
    â€œI don’t think he likes girls,” I said. “Or boys. Look at the horror on his face. He doesn’t look like a people person.”
    â€œHe’s probably shy. It’s very overwhelming being the only new person at school.”
    â€œOr the only vampire.”
    â€œTrue!” Cathy said. “He must be overwhelmed. Oh, poor Francis.”
    This wasn’t just Cathy being crazy for a nice pair of fangs. She’s like that all the time, putting the best interpretation on things, thinking the best of people. I heard Cathy say, in all seriousness, “People lose telephone numbers all the time,” when the gorgeous guy I met on our last family vacation at Cape Cod never called me. She believed that one of my exes, Trevor, was going out of town on a “business trip” when we, and Trevor, were fifteen years old.
    â€œCathy, please quit talking like you were born in 1867,” I said. “The way he’s looking so pained is kind of gross, if you ask me. Oh mercy, ladies are indicating they might like to tap this. How forward!”
    Cathy grinned and ducked her head, long dark hair falling in front of her face. She gets out of a lot of trouble being able to duck and cover.
    â€œI wish some ladies would come indicate they’d like to tap this,” said Ty, gesturing at himself.
    â€œI’d like to tap this,” I said, reaching over to tap his knuckles with my spoon. “Oh. That was so good. I’d like to tap it again!”
    I noticed Anna stayed quiet. I leaned against her. “Hey. You doing all right?”
    Anna blinked at me a few dozen times, as if I’d nudged her awake.
    â€œYeah,” she said finally. “Can’t seem to get as excited as everyone else.”
    I couldn’t blame her. Anna’s entitled to have issues with vampires. Her dad is a psychologist who specializes in vampires. You know the type: They try to help the vampires compartmentalize all their lifetimes of memories and the grieving for generations of loved ones.
    He also counsels us humans. Like those considering becoming vampires—he hits them with the scary survival rates, the horrors of zombification. He also helps those who have lost family who did not survive the process of becoming vampires. Dinner at Anna’s always included at least one horror story.
    I always liked Dr. Saunders. We’ve established I’m not the biggest vampire fan—their whole living forever, no pulse, creeps me out a bit—but still, I thought he was a pretty noble guy. Until he ran off with a vampire patient.
    Turns out sitting around holding the hands of tragic glamorous vampire ladies isn’t such a great job for a family man.
    And vampires don’t pay much attention to the whole idea of “till death do them part.” Trashy undead home wreckers.
    â€œFrancis doesn’t excite me in any way,” I assured Anna.
    Anna blinked again, still not smiling.
    â€œHey.” I nudged her. “He isn’t really