Swan Place Read Free Page A

Almost like we didn’t know each other. I glanced at him once, and he looked so bad, I almost felt like I should say something to try and comfort him. But I didn’t.
    I don’t care how bad you look, I thought. I won’t love you. I won’t love anybody.
    Aunt Bett finally came, and she looked all pale and shaky. She and Roy-Ellis locked eyes, and then they both looked at me.
    “Dove knows,” Roy-Ellis whispered to Aunt Bett, and then he motioned his head toward the kitchen. Aunt Bett hesitated.
    “Why don’t you go on back to bed for a little while, Dove,” Aunt Bett said. “Roy-Ellis and me got some things we got to talk about.” So they went into the kitchen and shut the door. But I didn’t want to go back into the bedroom, because I was afraid I’d see my mama’s face smiling down at me from the ceiling, so I turned off the porch light and went out and sat in the swing on the dark porch and listened to that little mockingbird singing his crooked song.

Chapter Two
     
    Aunt Bett and Roy-Ellis were in the kitchen for a very long time, and I sat there in the swing with a big old war going on inside of me. A war between Mama’s gone! and No! She can’t be! When the Mama’s gone! started winning, I hummed one of Mama’s honky-tonk songs. Why, Mama can’t be gone! Because if Mama was gone, then everything in Heaven and earth would have to stop. If Mama was gone, then the dawn wouldn’t come at all. So I sat there thinking about that and waiting to see if daylight was going to come, or whether darkness was going to cover the earth forever and ever. And what would happen then? Finally, I started rocking just a little in the swing and listening to the soft clink of the chains that held so strong and tight to the big iron hooks, and to the creak of the porch beams. Watching and waiting.
    Then a tiny silver color seemed to glow out of the tops of the leaves, and soon, things began to appear out of the darkness—the pink dwarf azaleas around the porch and Little Ellis’s tricycle with the dew shining on it, and at the last, golden fingers of sunlight coming through the trees and streaming across the yard. So the world was going to go on. But it would never be the same. Me sitting in the swing in my pajamas, with my mama gone, but life going on anyway.
    Finally, I heard the familiar squeak of the screen door, and Aunt Bett came out onto the porch. She sighed and closed the door very gently. No matter what, Aunt Bett wasn’t one to ever let a door slam shut.
    “You okay?” Her voice floated across the porch, and I was thinking, No. I’ll never be okay again. But instead, I said, “Yes’m.” She sat down beside me in the swing and put her arm around my shoulder, squeezing me tight. I thought that maybe she was going to try to talk to me about Mama being gone, and I didn’t want to talk about that. It was all too fresh. It all hurt too bad. And when something hurts that bad, I guess there’s no way you can put words to it at all. But Aunt Bett merely took in a deep breath and relaxed her hold on my shoulder.
    “You’re going to be a good woman when you grow up, Dove. A good woman and very strong.”
    Her words surprised me.
    “How do you know?” I asked.
    “Well, I can see how strong you’re trying to be right now. And I’ve seen how good you are to Molly and Little Ellis. And you don’t fuss with me about going to church,” she added. I thought about it being Easter Sunday and about the clothes Aunt Bett had brought over for us to wear.
    “Thank you for the nice clothes you let us use,” I said.
    “Goodness!” Aunt Bett exclaimed. “You’re grateful, as well. Yes, you most certainly will be a good woman. A strong woman.”
    I didn’t reply: My Mama did too raise me right! And I’m only being this polite to let you know that. And I won’t be strong. I don’t know how to be!
    Instead, I said, “Roy-Ellis didn’t cry.” The words surprised me.
    “What?”
    “I said, Roy-Ellis didn’t