Summertime Read Free Page A

Desmond. My mother’s excitement is gathering force.
    â€˜Wait there,’ she commands. ‘I’ll just pop into Aylsham for a bottle and I’ll come over to tell you everything.’
    She arrives with Egor, her bull terrier, hanging out of the passenger window of her car, yapping hoarsely. This sets Rags and Lowly off, and Digger joins in, so there is a hellish cacophony of dog reverberating through the house. The telephone rings, and I leap to answer it. Pick up the receiver but am distracted from saying hello by The Beauty, who has thrown herself at my mother and is warbling, ‘Grannee, Grannee. Come and have a cuppa tea now.’
    â€˜No fear,’ says Grannee, ‘no tea for me. I’m celebrating with vodka and tonic.’
    â€˜Vodka tonic, vodka tonic. No fear,’ parrots The Beauty.
    â€˜â€¦ CAN YOU HEAR ME, VENETIA?’ blares in my ear. It is David sounding tetchy. Decide to punish him by pretending I can’t hear him.
    â€˜Hello? Hello? Is anyone there? Oh, well, there must be something wrong. I expect whoever it is will try later.’ I hang up and turn to greet my mother. Sheand The Beauty have settled at the kitchen table, and are watching in admiration as the bull terrier Egor and his idiot offspring Lowly run in circles of pleasure, holding one another’s tails.
    â€˜Do look, Venetia. They are clever,’ coos my mother, sloshing vodka into two glasses The Beauty has brought her from the cupboard. She sighs, leaning back in her chair, and muses, ‘I must say, I always thought you would be married before Desmond. In fact, I never thought Desmond would be married at all. It’s marvellous.’ The telephone rings again and I battle with my better self, my bad fairy alter ego telling me not to answer it. Better self wins and I grab the phone.
    â€˜Hello, who is it?’
    â€˜Hi Venetia, it’s me, David, missing you already today and I’ve only just got up.’ Decide to ignore this, particularly in view of my mother’s remarks, which have deflated me to the size of a worm. Almost burst getting the words I want to say out without sounding resentful or expectant.
    â€˜Guess what David, Desmond’s getting married!’ The silent jaw-dropping I can imagine down the line from Bermuda is as expressive as any exclamation.
    â€˜Darling, do get off the phone, I want to tell you everything.’ My mother has tired of the dogs and is poised for a chat at the table, and The Beauty hasfound a straw and is making purposefully towards her glass.
    I cut in on David’s laughter and the tumble of questions he is asking. ‘Sorry, David, I’ve got to go before The Beauty starts on the vodka. Call me later, darling.’
    Barely hear his resigned ‘OK then,’ before hanging up and moving across to the chair opposite my mother and as far as possible from The Beauty, who is stripping off her red corduroy skirt in favour of a pair of Chinese trousers from the dressing-up box and a pink feather boa from my bedroom. Sip the first delicious mouthful of vodka and tonic, experience great dizziness and rosy glow of well-being, decide there is no room for resentment or jealousy today and get stuck into wedding details.
    â€˜Where are they getting married? I don’t think Minna’s got any parents, has she? What’s she going to wear? When did he ask her? Oh,
God
it’s so exciting.’ Jump up, grab The Beauty and waltz around the room, dizzy with disbelief that this can be happening to the unmarriageable Desmond.
    The ash on the end of my mother’s cigarette has grown as long as a catkin, so lost has she been in silent musings. It is flicked off now, and a businesslike puffing recommences.
    â€˜No, she’s an orphan. I don’t know what happenedto them, though. Do you?’ My mother pauses to refill her glass, adding, ‘Actually, I’d rather not know, if you don’t mind. It might be