Such Sweet Sorrow Read Free Page A

the day after. Papa’s hopelessly old-fashioned, he really does want all of us to marry Italians.’
    ‘He’s not having much luck in that department, is he?’ William commented, thinking of Tina’s elder sister Laura who was married to one of the local doctors, Trevor Lewis. ‘You’re not going to try and make up for his disappointment in Ronnie and Laura by marrying an Italian, are you?’ he asked anxiously, wondering if there was a café-owning rival for Tina’s hand that he was unaware of.
    ‘No, but I don’t want to get engaged to someone I might not see for ten years either.’
    ‘A minute ago you wanted to elope.’
    ‘A minute ago I wasn’t thinking straight. The least you could have done was tell me you were going to join the Guards before you did.’
    ‘I might have if I’d thought you’d be reasonable about it,’ he asserted, furious with her for ignoring his offer to buy her an engagement ring.
    ‘Reasonable –’
    ‘Why do all Italians have such foul tempers?’
    ‘You’re the one who’s shouting!’
    Temper rising, William lifted his hat from his head and shook the raindrops from it. The only sound in the street was her quick breathing and the quiet patter of rain.
    ‘Goodnight, Will.’
    Turning sharply, he seized her and kissed her the way he’d wanted to all evening. Kissing and holding was as far as he’d ever gone with Tina, although there had been long walks around the deserted paths of Shoni’s pond last summer when he’d burned to do a whole lot more, and would have, if she hadn’t slapped his face.
    ‘We could get married before you go?’ she faltered when he finally released her. She had a sudden, dreadful, terribly real premonition that he would never come back. That this was all the time they were ever going to have. She loved him, would always love him, and wanted to prove it to him before he left, even if it meant spending the rest of her life a widow.
    ‘No,’ he answered swiftly.
    ‘Why not?’
    ‘Because I love you.’
    ‘If you really loved me, you’d marry me. It would make everything more permanent, more settled than if we were engaged. We’d have something more than just the end of the war to look forward to.’
    He searched his mind for words that would explain his feelings. How he’d been overwhelmed by trying to assume the responsibilities of the man of the house at four years of age. How he’d been forced to stand by and watch his mother struggle, not only to make ends meet and feed and clothe him and his sister, Diana, but also bear the loneliness that had settled like a blight, clouding her life after the arrival of the telegram that had brought the news of his father’s death. He had seen the sadness and wistful yearning in his mother’s smile whenever she had looked at his father’s photograph, watched her sob her heart out on the anniversaries: his father’s birthday – their wedding anniversary – the date of his death – Armistice day … He had slunk into the house more times than he could count with torn trousers and bruised knuckles from fighting boys who had repeated the rumours about his mother and any and every man she stopped to talk to; even – God forbid – his Uncle Evan who’d never had any thought in his head other than practical ones of how to help his brother’s widow and children. He loved Tina far too much to risk putting her through anything like that.
    ‘How can you love me and not want to marry me?’
    Her voice shattered the silence, reminding him that he hadn’t voiced a single thought.
    ‘I don’t want you left alone.’
    ‘I’d be just as alone when you leave, whether we marry or not.’
    ‘But you wouldn’t be left with a wedding ring and possibly a baby. You’d be free to look for another man.’
    ‘And the thought of me with another man makes you happy?’
    ‘Of course not, but …’
    The door opened behind them and there was a swish of blackout curtains being dragged aside. ‘Tina, you