Stewards of the Flame Read Free Page A

light brown hair, skin pale from a life spent aboard starships . . . and yet his grey-blue eyes had met hers in a way that was not ordinary. “I think he’s more of a workaholic than an alcoholic,” she added. “He drinks to fill the hours away from his job. That’s not the kind of problem we should mess with here. How can you use him like a lab animal, let him be tortured, his body exposed and probed without regard for his human dignity—”
    She broke off, aware with dismay of her sensations. She had seen Jesse’s nakedness in the examining room, and unlike the others present, had been embarrassed by it. She was a psych technician, not a medical nurse. Her attitude toward bodies was not clinical. In view of her longstanding hatred of Hospital policy, she had taken pride in that. Now, unaccountably, she felt vulnerable and a little afraid. Remembering, she saw not just a helpless patient, but a man. She had never reacted to a man’s body before, except one, her former husband’s; though he was dead, such feelings had been reserved for him. . . .
    “Carla.” The man across the desk stretched out his hand, then quickly withdrew it. It was as if on the verge of reassurance, he drew back from the bond of friendship that they normally shared. “Is it possible that you’re feeling what I think you are—and for an offworlder?” he asked softly.
    “And why shouldn’t I? Is an offworlder less than we are? Is that why you’re violating all your own rules?”
    “My rules have always permitted ruthlessness. People I work with do suffer at times, as you know.”
    “Not without their consent. That’s how your rules differ from the Hospital’s, isn’t it? Jesse Sanders has not consented to anything , let alone to a three-day invasive workup that serves no purpose except to train tech personnel and produce a standard file on him! Or to aversion therapy. Are you going to allow that, too?”
    Kelstrom nodded. “Yes, I think so. It will be expected by the staff. There’s an experimental protocol they’ve been wanting try, but most patients aren’t in shape for it. I see no reason to deprive them of this one.”
    “Experimental?” Appalled, Carla felt her knees weaken. She was up-to-date on the research discussed in the department, though much of it was repugnant to her. The idea she’d heard advanced with regard to aversion therapy was so repellent that she’d assumed not even the Administration took it seriously.
    “I’m sorry,” Kelstrom told her, not showing any genuine regret. “My goal here is to help as many patients as possible. That means sparing the weak ones, not the strong. Sanders can handle himself—or if he can’t, I want to know. I think under these circumstances it’s justifiable to ignore his not having consented.”
    Bitterly, Carla burst out, “I never thought I’d see you compromise your ideals on an end-justifies-the-means basis. And I won’t stand by and let it happen, either! If you’re expecting me to go along with you, you’ll be surprised.”
    “I doubt it,” the psychiatrist declared. “I was surprised a moment ago, I’ll admit. I’ve watched you a long time, wondering when you’d let your sexual awareness resurface. Perhaps you wouldn’t have dropped your guard if this man were one of us. In a way it’s too bad it happened. Personal feelings may make the case tough for you; I want you to go on visiting him, keep me informed of his reactions. But I don’t think you can surprise me further, Carla.”
    We’ll see about that, she thought grimly. There were ways around Hospital orders. She’d find opportunity to intervene, as she had many times in the past. But without her supervisor on her side, the risk was going to be a great deal bigger.
     
     
    ~   4   ~
     
    Jesse lay flat, not daring to move, wondering if there was any portion of his anatomy not sore from internal probing. Local anesthetic had, of course, been used for the most traumatic flesh punctures.