Steamed Read Free Page B

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    “Parakeets! Do you have any idea how many parakeets each year are shoved out of their homes and left to fend for themselves? Hundreds, Jack! Hundreds and hundreds of poor little innocent birdies just tossed out the window, and they have no idea how to forage for food, or where to sleep, or even where to live. It’s a horrible, senseless tragedy, and we at the People for Humane Treatment of Parakeets are doing what we can to try to rescue parakeets, and rehome them with good people who will take care of them.”
    Hallie always had a cause. Ever since she was a little girl, she had been a joiner of causes. When she grew up, she had taken to throwing herself wholeheartedly into whatever cause appealed to her at the moment.
    “What happened to that group you belonged to that was supposed to knit sweaters for hairless dogs who lived in animal shelters?”
    “Oh, that fell apart months ago,” she said, twisting the lid of the canister again. “We couldn’t decide on whether mohair or acrylic yarn was best. This group is totally rock solid, Jack. And you like animals!”
    “That doesn’t mean I want to be sold into slavery on their behalf. What did you sell me for?”
    “Five hundred dollars! Can you believe it? No one else’s husband or brother went for as much. It was a shame you couldn’t be there to model yourself, but I took that picture of you that was in the paper that time you and Jeff Sawyer were in Mexico, and you rescued him from being disemboweled by crazed Mayans.”
    I sighed to myself again. It was pretty sad when my own sister refused to listen to me.
    “Anyway, everyone loved that picture, and lots of ladies bid on you, only Linda won, and that’s so perfect because she’s just the woman I would pick out for you. She’s smart and she likes the things you like, and she paid five hundred dollars just to spend some time with you.”
    “I wasn’t asking how much she spent; what services of mine has she won?” I asked suspiciously.
    “Oh, well, that’s up to Linda,” she said, waving the canister at me.
    “Stop shaking that!” When I realized what she was doing, I jumped to my feet and lunged toward her in the hopes of getting the canister before it blew up.
    “Now, I know you’re a bit peeved that I sold you without telling you, but really, it’s for a very good cause—” Hallie skirted the lab table, keeping just out of my reach as she pleaded with me.
    I cut her short, worried about her safety. “No, you idiot! The lid is off and you’re shaking the canister. It’s very volatile!”
    “This?” She looked down at the helium. “It’s just a thermos of coffee. How can coffee be volatile?”
    “It’s not coffee—it’s liquid helium.”
    “Helium?” She held the canister up as if she could see through the stainless steel walls. “What on earth are you doing with helium?”
    “We use it to cool the core of the chip when it’s being tested. Now set it down very carefully.”
    “Oh, like canned air? I use that all the time at home on my stereo. I like the way the bottle frosts up when you use it for a while. You’re not mad at me about the auction, are you?” she said with sublime unawareness of what she held. She reached for the lid, jamming it down on top of the canister.
    “My emotions at this moment are rather indescribable,” I said, moving around to take the canister from her.
    “Stupid thing won’t go on,” she grumbled, trying to force the lid on, but the inner valve had been jostled and was out of position enough to keep the lid from screwing on properly.
    “Just set it down, Hallie, and I’ll deal with it.”
    “Maybe it’s got an air bubble or something that’s keeping it from closing properly.” She tossed aside the top, right on top of the circuit I had been finishing. Several tiny LED lights lit up, indicating the computer’s brain was receiving power.
    “No!” I yelled, lunging for her. Just as my hand closed around hers, she flipped up the