Star Fish Read Free Page A

embarrassed.
    ‘Right – let’s get down to the important business of finding you a man then, shall we?’ He continued.
    I instantly felt at ease. Maybe this wasn’t going to be quite as dreadful as I had imagined.
    ‘Your photo is flattering,’ he said nicely. ‘From reading your introduction form you certainly don’t look your age, and your sample profile is spot on.’ I laughed to myself wishing Liv were here to listen to all of this. ‘There shouldn’t be any trouble at all in matching you up,’ Christopher promised. ‘In fact, I’ve got somebody in mind already. You Pisces ladies are very adaptable.’
    I liked this man; he was friendly and charming. Don’t fancy him, don’t fancy him, my inner voice insisted. But hey, he didn’t actually know me; he’d read my details on a form I’d filled out, he’d said hello and then thought he could match me with someone immediately. Perhaps it was all just a con.
    ‘Right, Amy let’s introduce you to the Blue file.’ He grinned.
    Oh my God, I thought. Blue file? What sort of place is this?
    But Christopher had anticipated my reaction.
    ‘Blue for boys, pink for girls,’ he explained. ‘Cordelia’s intricate filing system for you!’
    I laughed this time.
    The Blue file was interesting, to say the least. I opened it to see male creatures of all shapes and star signs appear in front of my eyes. Christopher told me he would leave me to peruse the ‘lucky contenders’ at my leisure in the Green Room. Lucky contenders? It sounded more like bloody Gladiators .
    ‘The Green Room.’ How strange! I remembered my horoscope from this morning’s newspaper: A green door signifies good luck for you today. Green room, green door. Oh my God, this was just too much of a coincidence!
    Christopher had also made a point of seeing if I could pick out the person he thought would be most compatible with me. I wondered cautiously just who was playing this dating game?
    It was hard to keep a perspective on the whole situation. On turning the pages and seeing all those men smiling out at me I suddenly had awful doubts about what I was doing. The men were sorted in to the twelve star signs. I started to flick through them all. Under each photo were a few words taken from the corresponding introduction form. Some of them were hysterical.
    Reece, 35. Gemini. Accounts Manager. Likes scuba diving, Leeds United and anchovies. Looking for a blonde with similar tastes. Or how about Greg, 42. Libra. Producer. Likes animals, gladioli and classical guitar music. Looking for someone for dog walks and dinners.’
    Surely Christopher was having a laugh? But then if there were pages of information I personally wouldn’t read it all through. When you first see someone you fancy, you don’t know what’s behind the initial attractiveness until you take the time to speak to them. So Christopher’s logic won this time. Brevity and humour – sounded like the state of my love life really.
    I started to look just at the pictures, particularly at the eyes and smiles. My friend Harriet had also advised me to look at a man’s shoes. I could never quite understand this one, because if somebody looked like George Clooney but was wearing white tasselled loafers, the chance of looking at the ceiling of the ER would win every time!
    After careful deliberation I picked out three men who I wouldn’t be embarrassed to be seen with in public.
    Steve, 27. Aries. Photographer. Looking initially for fun and friendship. Neil, 29. Taurus. Legal Executive. Looking for someone to wine and dine. Laurence, 40. Libra. Managing Director of IT Company. Glamorous liaisons a must.
    Curiously, Steve, Neil and Laurence were not truly compatible in an astrological sense, but the words ‘fun’ ‘dine’ and ‘glamour’ had helped the sale in this bizarre supermarket of lurve! I doubted very much if any of these manly contenders had degrees or if they could even spell Capoeria, let alone know what it was. I found