Split Infinity Read Free Page B

obstetrics.’
    It’s the area she always wanted to work in, but with the emergency component added. A compromise, I guess. She’s following her dreams but also paying back to the system. Contributing, like any good citizen.
    ‘And you?’ Kessa asks.
    And me. It’s a question that makes my heart slow. Right now, I’m empty inside, coming to understand how different my future will be from the one I’d hoped.
    I had to jump. It was the only way to escape, but that long jump meant I lost my place in school that I fought so hard for. Now that I’m back I’ll have to face all the ways my lost past is going to feed into my future.
    ‘Listen, Scout.’ Kessa steps forward, close now, not wary anymore. ‘I can help. Whatever’s going on …’
    Already, I’m pulling back, shaking my head. ‘No.’
    ‘Tell me. What do you need?’
    But I can’t, the risk for her is massive; she’s the one who has so much to lose. And deep down, I know that’s not the only reason. I hate the idea of her seeing me differently once she realises I’m illegal. Leaving is easier than the thought of her thinking less of me.
    I swing my leg over the gate, then step backwards onto the ground on the other side.
    ‘Wait, Scout.’ Kess comes right up to the gate, her hands on the rail where I was just sitting. ‘I wish you’d told me you were in trouble. Before you disappeared, I mean. When we were in high school. I could have helped.’
    She doesn’t even know what she’s saying.
    I should go, but I’m not ready yet. I stare at the ground, trying to form words for the question within me.
    ‘Will you tell me one thing?’ I ask. I lift my gaze and find her waiting.
    She nods. ‘Anything.’
    ‘Are you … happy?’ Somehow, I need to know. It matters that she is.
    ‘Happy?’ Kessa’s nose scrunches at the question, and then her neck lengthens. ‘Well … I’m one of the lucky ones, aren’t I? A life on high-enough rations. A uni course to die for. A chance at my dream job.’ A pause. ‘Why wouldn’t I be happy ?’
    But she sort of spits it out and we’re left watching each other from either side of the gate, two souls from different worlds.
    ‘Okay.’ I glance down again, feeling lost, displaced, and my eyes fall on her old runners. She’s helped me more than she realises. ‘Better go.’ I offer her a smile. ‘It’s good to see you.’
    ‘Scout, wait.’
    But I don’t. Instead I turn and make my way along the back lane without looking at her again.
    It was good to see her, but that also forced me to see how much I’ve lost, how different my future will be now that I’ve dug out the chip. My whole life has crumbled in a blink, a single time skip. But I’m not sure which is worse: the idea that Kessa has everything I’ll never have, or the fact that she didn’t answer my question with a yes.

CHAPTER THREE
    T HE STREETS ARE busy as I make my way to Ballarat Road. Everything looks almost the same. Hologram ads and sleeper-pod smartcars clash and clatter into my brain. It’s as if I’ve been imprinted by the way things used to be, the way they should be, and continually have to adjust slightly when I find things aged and altered: trees taller than I remember, and others that have disappeared, crumbling buildings in between new flats and old tents. I even pass a man who used to live on our street, his face weathered overnight. His eyes light up for a moment when he sees me, but instantly shadow. He must have it wrong, I haven’t aged. It couldn’t be me .
    Ahead of me a couple are pushing a pram, the opening covered with a pale brown blanket, cries bleating from within. I match my steps so that I fall in just behind them, tucking my damaged hand behind my back. If anyone happens to notice the bandaged wrist, they’re only one thought-process away from a realisation: crim .
    The couple stop to wait for the ping at the crossing point, and the man says, ‘She’s just hungry. Once she falls asleep she’ll be