Somewhere Beyond Reproach Read Free Page A

future, I am glad to say for the better. I put what capital I had into the concern, but to begin with went on with my advertising work as a safeguard.
    I went on seeing Mark, not for his company but in the hope that he would let slip bits of information about Dinah. Naturally I asked him casual questions about her as well. A year or so after my walk with her beside the abbey, I discovered from Mark that he was going to a dinner party to which she had been invited. We talked about other things for the rest of the afternoon. Just before I left I asked him in an offhand way whether he knew the person who was giving the party well enough to get him to ask me. This seemed quite natural. The dinner was the same night. Mark said it could be fixed. There were fifteen of us there and I made sure that Dinah did not speak to me directly or alone. Halfway through dinner I heard her speaking my name and found myself trembling. She was merely asking if I could pass her the butter. She looked more beautiful than I remembered . She wore a low-cut green velvet dress with white lace round the neck and at the cuffs. I did not look at her often; this was partly for fear of showing my real feelingsand partly to show my calculated indifference. I saw her stealing glances at me. I did not overdo the direct avoidance, for by doing so I could well have appeared comic. She asked me what I was doing and I told her civilly that I was working in advertising. Since most of the other male guests were undergraduates, I think this impressed her. I paid a good deal of attention to the only other beautiful woman there. I made sure that Dinah did not miss the fact that we left together. During this party I heard her mention that she was going to a large Charity Ball the following month. I made a mental note of this and resolved to see that I was invited. In the event this did not prove hard. An aunt of mine was on the committee of almost every charitable occasion in London. At the time I did not intend these occasional meetings to do anything more than keep me in her mind. At the dance in question we were all tied to the parties we had gone in. I saw Dinah once. She was trapped by an obese young man the colour of a mulberry. He seemed eager to kiss her. In spite of her imploring gaze I left her with a cheery smile and a wave. How different this outward action was from what I inwardly felt.
    The next time I saw her was quite by chance in the toy department of a large store. I was completely taken off my guard. I literally bumped into her as she was winding up a small mechanical duck. She smiled at me and asked how I was getting on. My nervousness made me curt but I realised that she now considered this to be in character. She told me that her father, who was in the Foreign Office, had been appointed First Secretary in Ankara. The duck bobbed and dithered across the glass top of the counter. I felt sick. Naturally she was going with him. It ought to be very interesting . I nodded. I needed time to think and I was not going to get it. I could have asked her out but I had grown so used to my role of indifference that I found myself saying that I hoped she’d enjoy herself. The duck was still just moving jerkily as though in its death throes. The shop assistant picked it up and said:
    ‘We’ve got one that quacks as it moves.’
    My mind was completely empty. I turned to go. What else could I do? When I got to the lifts there was a queue for the only one there. Clearly I was going to be left to wait for the next. I felt unless I could get out of the building fast, I might go back and look for her. I blundered down the emergency stairs. Outside the store a bus had stopped. I didn’t look at the number but just got in. Five minutes later I knew that I could not go back. She would have gone. As the bus rolled into Leicester Square I found I was in tears. Half an hour later I was able to console myself with the thought that she would be unlikely to make a lasting