know, Essie is not a virgin. I would think the church would go up in flames if she wore white."
"Actually, I would think it would be more apt to explode with you wearing a dress," I told Dwayne—my Vampyre BFF.
"But you promised," he whined as he stomped the blush pink four-inch stilettos he had tried on.
"Fine," I relented. "But you're not wearing white and it has to have sleeves. I don't want to catch a glimpse of your armpit hair on my wedding day."
"Good point, well made," he said. "However, I could get my pits waxed… "
"No," I yelled in unison with Lori and Layla.
"It was just a suggestion," Dwayne said with a pout.
"Um, we have four brides waiting," Layla said nervously. "Would you like to try anything else on today or should we make another appointment?"
"I think I'm good," Dwayne said as he slipped out of his gown.
"She was talking to me," I informed him with an eye roll and a laugh.
"Whoops, my bad," he said as he walked buck ass naked except for the stilettos back to the fitting room to get his clothes.
"Holy shit," Lori gasped as she turned several shades of red and began frantically gathering all the dresses Dwayne had tried on. "We'll have to have all of these dry cleaned now."
"Sorry about that," I mumbled as I yanked Granny and a mostly clothed Dwayne out of the shop. "I'll call and make another appointment."
"Don't hurry," Layla said sweetly. "Oh my God, I meant we'll see you soon," she stuttered as she hustled away in embarrassment.
"Those Weasels are a bit odd," Dwayne said, buttoning his pants as we walked across the street to the diner for lunch.
"Oh, they're nice girls," Granny said as she dropkicked her phone into the fountain in the middle of the town square. "They're just not used to peckers touching the inside of their dresses before they've been sold."
"Oh dear lord," Dwayne gasped, completely mortified. "I'll wear panties next time."
"There will be no next time," I muttered as I retrieved my Granny's phone from the water.
"Well, aren't you a party pooper," Dwayne huffed.
"Yep," I told him. "And you…" I dangled Granny’s now useless cell phone in her face. "I am not getting you a new phone. This is the third one this week you've destroyed."
"No problem," she said with an evil little grin on her face. "I'll play Scrabble on your laptop."
"That's just awesome," I said in defeat.
No getting felt up, no dress and soon no laptop. This day rocked.
Chapter 2
"I've got the pictures back from Jamaica." Dwayne squealed as he pulled a large envelope out of his man-purse and slapped it down on the table of our booth. "Granny, you are gonna flip!"
Hank, Granny, Dwayne and I had just spent an awesome week in Jamaica. I'd gotten engaged, sunburned and had more fantabulous sex with Hank than I'd ever had in my life. Jamaica was now my favorite place in the world. Of course Hank and I were already mated, which in the Werewolf world was as good as married, but since we inhabited the human world too we decided to tie the knot.
"Please tell me you didn't snap one of Granny in her thong bikini," I pleaded. I took a huge sip of my Coke and said a quick prayer to all the angels and saints.
"Oh for heaven's sake, no. But I did get some gritty yet artistic nudes of her," Dwayne said with glee.
"Left side or right?" Granny inquired as she carefully folded her straw wrapper into a small football.
"Right," he answered as he examined a few shots.
"Good, because my right boob is slightly bigger than the left one. Wanna show my best assets."
"Okay, let's start today over." I positioned my fingers in a goal post so that Granny could flick her paper football. "We have three days left in Hung before we have to report to Chicago. I need to pick out a wedding dress."
"And invitations," Dwayne interrupted.
"Yes, invitations. And we have to brief Junior so he can take
"Actually, I would think it would be more apt to explode with you wearing a dress," I told Dwayne—my Vampyre BFF.
"But you promised," he whined as he stomped the blush pink four-inch stilettos he had tried on.
"Fine," I relented. "But you're not wearing white and it has to have sleeves. I don't want to catch a glimpse of your armpit hair on my wedding day."
"Good point, well made," he said. "However, I could get my pits waxed… "
"No," I yelled in unison with Lori and Layla.
"It was just a suggestion," Dwayne said with a pout.
"Um, we have four brides waiting," Layla said nervously. "Would you like to try anything else on today or should we make another appointment?"
"I think I'm good," Dwayne said as he slipped out of his gown.
"She was talking to me," I informed him with an eye roll and a laugh.
"Whoops, my bad," he said as he walked buck ass naked except for the stilettos back to the fitting room to get his clothes.
"Holy shit," Lori gasped as she turned several shades of red and began frantically gathering all the dresses Dwayne had tried on. "We'll have to have all of these dry cleaned now."
"Sorry about that," I mumbled as I yanked Granny and a mostly clothed Dwayne out of the shop. "I'll call and make another appointment."
"Don't hurry," Layla said sweetly. "Oh my God, I meant we'll see you soon," she stuttered as she hustled away in embarrassment.
"Those Weasels are a bit odd," Dwayne said, buttoning his pants as we walked across the street to the diner for lunch.
"Oh, they're nice girls," Granny said as she dropkicked her phone into the fountain in the middle of the town square. "They're just not used to peckers touching the inside of their dresses before they've been sold."
"Oh dear lord," Dwayne gasped, completely mortified. "I'll wear panties next time."
"There will be no next time," I muttered as I retrieved my Granny's phone from the water.
"Well, aren't you a party pooper," Dwayne huffed.
"Yep," I told him. "And you…" I dangled Granny’s now useless cell phone in her face. "I am not getting you a new phone. This is the third one this week you've destroyed."
"No problem," she said with an evil little grin on her face. "I'll play Scrabble on your laptop."
"That's just awesome," I said in defeat.
No getting felt up, no dress and soon no laptop. This day rocked.
Chapter 2
"I've got the pictures back from Jamaica." Dwayne squealed as he pulled a large envelope out of his man-purse and slapped it down on the table of our booth. "Granny, you are gonna flip!"
Hank, Granny, Dwayne and I had just spent an awesome week in Jamaica. I'd gotten engaged, sunburned and had more fantabulous sex with Hank than I'd ever had in my life. Jamaica was now my favorite place in the world. Of course Hank and I were already mated, which in the Werewolf world was as good as married, but since we inhabited the human world too we decided to tie the knot.
"Please tell me you didn't snap one of Granny in her thong bikini," I pleaded. I took a huge sip of my Coke and said a quick prayer to all the angels and saints.
"Oh for heaven's sake, no. But I did get some gritty yet artistic nudes of her," Dwayne said with glee.
"Left side or right?" Granny inquired as she carefully folded her straw wrapper into a small football.
"Right," he answered as he examined a few shots.
"Good, because my right boob is slightly bigger than the left one. Wanna show my best assets."
"Okay, let's start today over." I positioned my fingers in a goal post so that Granny could flick her paper football. "We have three days left in Hung before we have to report to Chicago. I need to pick out a wedding dress."
"And invitations," Dwayne interrupted.
"Yes, invitations. And we have to brief Junior so he can take
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