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at least I know Laura wouldn’t shoplift anything.”
    “Come on, Chloe, just chill out.” Allie waves at Marissa like nothing whatsoever is wrong. “Don’t forget that Jesus loves everyone. Remember the thief on the cross?”
    I literally stop in my tracks and stare at Allie. I am, for the second time in mere minutes, speechless—totally stopped by her words. And asconfused and conflicted as I feel inside, I suspect she is right.
    But that still doesn’t make this kind of thing any easier. I know we need to forgive Marissa, but does that make everything okay? Obviously not. Should we have reported her? I don’t think so. Sometimes life is confusing.
    HARD TO KNOW
o God
why is everything not simple?
why is life not just
plain black and white
good and bad
wrong and right?
how are we supposed to know
what to do
who to love
when to speak
when to shut up
where to go
what to think?
show me, o Lord
teach me Your ways
speak to me
in that quiet voice
that makes sense
cm

Three
Sunday, April 13
    I have to admit it was kind of cool letting Allie handle the little shoplifting episode yesterday. Thinking about it now I really admire how she very calmly told Marissa that we weren’t into that sort of thing.
    “The truth is I’ve shoplifted before,” Allie confessed to both of us. “At the time I kind of rationalized that it was okay because my dad had just deserted us and we were flat broke and everything seemed pretty bleak and hopeless-like who cared anyway? But then I got caught.”
    “You got caught?” I stared at her with fascination. “You never told me about this.”
    She laughed. “Hey, it’s not like I’m proud of it. What really got to me was how unbelievably devastated my mom was. She was like totally crushed when they called her to come pick me up. I still remember her sitting there in the police station just sobbing like I’d murdered someone.”
    “What happened at the police station?” asked Marissa, apparently impressed by Allie’s short-lived life of crime.
    “I confessed. I mean, what was I going to dowhen they’d obviously caught me red-handed? Then my mom and I had to sign some papers and agree to attend this all-day seminar about shoplifting—very boring, not to mention my mom was totally furious to miss a whole day of work. Then I had to do forty hours of community service—mostly shoveling Bark-o-Mulch at the city park. Plus I was grounded like forever, and my mom made me babysit my little brother without getting paid a penny for a long, long time.”
    “Whoa.” Marissa looked down at her lap. “That’s pretty stiff. What’d you lift anyway?”
    “Just some earrings.” Allie shrugged. “I think they only cost about ten bucks. But the truth is I’d stolen quite a few things before that. And I was actually starting to get pretty comfortable with the whole thing.”
    “Have you taken anything since then?” I asked.
    “No. After going through all that crud, I didn’t think it’d be worth it. Plus they promised me that my record would be expunged, that means wiped clean, if I stayed out of trouble for a year. Then, not too long after that—” she turned and smiled at Marissa—”I found God and I have a relationship with Him. And I know He wouldn’t want me to steal anything.”
    Marissa didn’t really respond to that last bit. And despite Allie’s very cool lecture, Marissaapparently didn’t feel the need to return her pocketful of “hot” thongs. So we pretty much parted ways, and I guess I still feel pretty lousy about the whole thing. Other than the way Allie handled it, that is. But personally, I’m still not sure what to do. I realize Marissa still needs us to love her, but I’m just not sure how I feel about hanging with her—or at least about going to the mall with her. I don’t really think I’m up for that again.
    But here’s the good thing that happened today. I felt so bad about my fight with Laura that I wanted to talk to her before going to church. I