Small Town Sinners Read Free Page A

pastors have worked together to create,” says Pastor Frist. “And Pastor Joe Tannen wants a report on our outreach so he can learn more about Hell House’s influence.”
    Everyone gasps excitedly, and I’m immediately paying attention. I can’t believe Dad kept this information from me, but he does love a surprise. Pastor Tannen has a congregation in Oklahoma, and even though he’s like eighty years old, he’s always been a huge figure in the evangelical world. It’s amazing that he wants to know more about Hell Houses. They’re kind of like haunted houses, which is why we do ours over Halloween weekend. Tour guides dressed as demons take the audience through the church, room by room, to view scenes of sin: a drunk driving crash, a suicide, domestic abuse, and an abortion. My dream role—the one Julia played last year—is Abortion Girl.
    “All right, all right,” says Dad, waving his hands to quell the energetic whispers. “We’re primed for this too. And it means there’s going to be some intense material this year—even more than in years past.”
    I look over at Dean, who’s resting his chin in his hand. I elbow him and he sits up straight. I don’t know why he’s not more excited—this script is going to be amazing.
    “The first scene—or should I say sin —is Gay Marriage,” says Dad. “I’m sure we all know about people who’ve chosen this path. Some are even famous celebrities.”
    A low “boo” rises up from the crowd, mostly led by Geoff Parsons—the kid who hasn’t stopped calling Starla Joy “butterfingers” since she dropped a key fly ball during a church softball game in eighth grade—but Pastor Frist quiets it quickly.
    “Now, now. Hate the sin, not the sinner,” he says, and his broad smile makes the skin around his eyes crinkle fiercely. “This scene will be a very powerful opening for our best Hell House yet.”
    That gets a cheer.
    “The sacred institution of marriage between a man and a woman is further disgraced by the unholy union of a man and a man,” continues Pastor Frist, “and Satan wouldn’t have it any other way, would he, guys?”
    Sometimes Pastor Frist smiles to punctuate a rhetorical question, and his big white teeth look like they’re living entities. Like they could jump right out of his mouth and beam at you up close, in 4-D. It’s always freaked me out a little.
    Another low “boo” rumbles, and my dad takes the mic. “This scene will be done carefully,” he says. “We’ll have a married couple playing the role of husband and husband, because there will have to be physical contact here.”
    There’s a ripple through the crowd as we imagine two men kissing. I’m relieved it’ll be a husband-and-wife couple performing. It’s only right.
    “I think Mrs. Wilkins could play a guy,” whispers Dean, and Starla Joy cracks up. I hit Dean on the leg—Mrs. Wilkins can’t help her whiskers. Tessa rolls her eyes at us like she’s so mature and goes back to inspecting her split ends.
    The Hell House prep meeting always goes like this—I’ve sat in on a few just to be with my dad. He and Pastor Frist go back and forth, introducing each scene and its underlying message, why Jesus calls on us to cover certain topics this year. But today, in this meeting, I’m on the edge of my seat. I actually get to audition this year—I get to be considered for a lead role, and whoever plays Abortion Girl becomes a part of town history.
    “Now, we haven’t worked out all the scenes yet,” says Pastor Frist. “We’ll have another meeting soon. But we did want to tell you about Pastor Tannen’s involvement, what the opening scene would be like, and we also wanted to show you an incredible new addition to the prop closet.”
    Pastor Frist gestures to Dad, who reaches under the pulpit and pulls out a gun. And I mean a gun. It looks like something a drug dealer would have—black and solid, scary looking.
    “That isn’t real, right?” whispers Starla