Simply Divine Read Free Page B

figures.'
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    No mean feat considering she had a chest flatter than an airport runway herself, thought Jane, who was no fan of the celebrated sybarite.
    'And Fabulous is snapping at our heels,' continued the editor testily. It was true that Gorgeous^ great rival, the society magazine Fabulous, was putting on readers at an alarming rate. 'We cantlet them overtake us in circulation.' He banged his fist dramatically on his desk. A collection of silver-framed photographs of Josh with Princess Diana, Josh with Karl Lagerfeld, Josh with John Galliano and Josh with Kate Moss fell over with a crash. 'What's new? he demanded, wiping Kate lovingly with his sleeve as he propped her up again.
    His staff quaked. Everyone was terrified of Josh. Impeccably dressed and sharply good-looking, he had the reputation of being one of the most gifted and competitive editors in London. He was devoted to Gorgeous and expected everyone who worked there to be as obsessed with it as he was. He had, after all, taken it from a mumsy rag to a glittering social glossy in the four years he had been editor. No one could doubt his talents or his commitment. But his management skills were from the Darth Vader school.
    'I see Champagne DVyne's all over the tabloids again,' ventured the chief sub. Her voice trailed off as she waited for Josh's reaction.
    'Yes, doesn't she look wonderful, bless her,' said Josh, exposing his exquisitely-capped teeth in a dazzling white smile. He shook back a lock of hair that had had the impertinence to detach itself from its smoothed-back auburn fellows and stared thoughtfully at the chief sub. She blinked at him through eyelashes so thick with makeup they looked more black leaded than mascara'd.
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    'Ye-e-es,' said Josh, slowly, a gleam appearing in his eye. The chief sub blushed and put up a self-conscious hand to further tousle her moussed-up hair. She'd had a crush on Josh for ages. Had her moment finally come?
    A stream of breathless excuses announced the sudden arrival of Valentine, Gorgeous s deputy editor who, despite his lofty title, received almost as much flak from Josh as Jane did. 'Oh, you won't believe what happened to me on the way here,' he gasped.
    'You're right, I won't,' Josh cut in rudely. 'So don't bother.' Valentine visibly slumped. But Josh hadn't finished with his unfortunate number two. He picked up a page proof from his desk and waved it at Valentine. 'Have you had these interior pages legalled?' he asked.
    'Legalled?' echoed Valentine. One of his responsibilities was to make sure every page in the magazine had been through the in-house lawyers before publication. 'Why ever would the lawyers want to read "That Sinking Feeling: How To Choose an Amazin' Basin", or "Pale and Interesting: Picking the Right White For Your Home"?' he demanded. His chest swelled defensively, straining the hard-pressed buttons on his suit still further. His eyes bulged.
    'Well, you never know, someone may have slagged off a scatter cushion,' said Josh. 'Better talk it through with the lawyers, there's a dear.'
    Valentine snatched the proof from him and rushed out in the direction of the legal department.
    The meeting was dismissed and Jane settled herself behind her desk which, as usual, was a sea of last week's newspapers and possibly last century's page proofs. Her heart sank at the mess of it all. The entire office was piled up with old papers, envelopes, post nobody bothered to open, unwanted faxes from unwanted contributors and,
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    worst of all, boxes of everything from Tandoori burgers to savoury ice creams sent in for review to the food editor, whose rare appearances meant they rotted and stank in the office s overheated atmosphere until someone (usually Jane) had the sense to throw them away.
    The last of all the staff to arrive was Lulu the fashion editor, who had never seen a morning meeting yet. As always, despite being over an hour late, she gave an impression of great speed and industry, bustling in as quickly as