Sidekicks Read Free Page A

listen to
anything
I said? Haven’t you been paying attention?” I hissed under my breath.
    “What? What?” Miles defended. “I
told
him to call you Gary.”
    I dropped my head onto my desk with a defeated thud.
    “Okay, class,” Mr. Lang began, “let’s review the Pythagorean theorem — yes, Mandrake?”
    Charisma Kid raised his hand and waved it over his head. “I don’t mean to interrupt, sir, but I just wanted to tell you what a striking tie you’re wearing.”
    “Do you really think?” Mr. Lang asked, looking down at his tie. “I wasn’t really sure...I mean when I picked it out at the store...Do you really think?”
    “Absolutely. In fact, if you teach half as well as you pick ties, I’m in for quite an amazing learning experience.”
    Mr. Lang stopped for a moment, possibly feeling more handsome than he ever had in his life, and popped open his algebra book with renewed zeal.
    “Was that the sweetest thing, or what?” Prudence Cane said to no one in particular.
    With those eight words, no, wait. Seven. Uh... yeah... seven words, I realized I was in for the fight of my life. One where I was helpless to use my powers, and at stake was something more precious to me than the safety of the world.
    Prudence Cane.

Chapter Three
    Evil Is Bad

    “Sssh!” Earlobe Lad hissed at me and covered his enormous ears.
    “I didn’t say anything,” I whispered back.
    “No. But the blinking. The blinking is driving...me...insane!”
    I sat in my chair doing my best to not blink. It was always like this when I was on monitor duty with Earlobe Lad. His oversized ears and super-hearing made him hypersensitive to even the tiniest noises. The fact he had short hair only seemed to make his ears that much larger. His costume was green with a large ear on the chest.
    My eyes started to water. Earlobe Lad glared at me. My lids quivered. Earlobe Lad clenched his teeth. I squinted, doing my best to relieve the burning pain that shot through my eyeballs. After, oh, one minute, I finally cracked like a cheap vase.
    Blink-blink.
    “Gah!” Earlobe Lad shouted at me, clutching his ears. “You did that on purpose!”
    “I have to blink.”
    “Do you? Do you!?” he cried, standing from his sidekick chair, an accusing finger jabbing at my face.
    “Calm down,” Spice Girl said in a hushed voice. “He didn’t do it on purpose.”
    “You’re all against me,” Earlobe Lad said as he slumped in his chair and slid beneath the table, “because I have giant ears!” The final words fell out of his mouth wrapped in despair — the despair that went hand-in-hand with giant ears.
    I guess, anyway. My ears are normal.
    The three of us sat at the Sidekick Super Table of Meetingness. Spice Girl had short blond hair. Her outfit was entirely pink with a purple “Girl Power” patch stuck on the front. I could smell the scent of Chamomile wafting up from her.
    “It’s good for headaches,” she whispered to me.
    It’s usually about now — when Earlobe Lad is sobbing or Exact Change Kid is handing out two quarters, three dimes, two nickels, and ten pennies for a dollar, or I’m buffing the second coat of wax on the Pumpkinmobile — that I ask myself, “What was I thinking?”
    I’ll tell you what I was thinking. Imagine being a hero. Imagine saving people and being on the cover of magazines and stuff. Like, what if people looked up to you and wanted to be like you because you were so cool. That’s what I was thinking. Smash evil and be popular. I had no idea I’d be doing laundry and listening to people whine all the time.
    These
are the battles TV never tells you about.
    “What’s with Elephant Boy?” Boom Boy asked as he entered the Clubhouse.
    “I hate when you call me that,” Earlobe Lad whimpered from under the table. “And stop breathing so loud.”
    Boom Boy had a cool power: he could blow up. The only problem was, if he blew up, he
really
blew up, so he could only do it once, if you know what I mean. His