Shades of Temptation Read Free Page B

that pain was often part of the job. Anyone could be a rapist or killer
or other type of dangerous criminal.
    Anyone.
    Male or female. Old or young. Ugly or good-looking. Sometimes
the ones she had to stop were just like Kevin Porter. Sometimes they had
goodness in them, too. Sometimes they could have taken another path or were
victims themselves. But it didn’t matter. When they turned dangerous, she had to
stop them in order to protect others. And, yes, to protect herself.
    That’s why she kept the picture.
    To remind herself why she did what she did. And so she wouldn’t
be surprised, wouldn’t hesitate to fire her gun again, simply because a perp
didn’t look the way she thought he would.
    If guilt was a by-product, there wasn’t anything she could do
about it. Because guilt, too, was just another part of the job. And thankfully,
after being gone for almost a month, she’d finally been cleared to return to
SIG. Mac, SIG’s lead special agent, had worked hard to get her back in rotation.
He’d worked twice as hard to get her the assignment she’d requested. He’d
questioned whether the case would be too stressful given that she’d just be
returning to work, but ultimately he’d supported her, and she’d always be
grateful to him for that.
    She’d missed the team—Jase, in particular, though she refused
to let her thoughts linger on him. Mostly, however, she’d missed the work. The
challenge. Sitting at home recuperating was enough to make her want to scream
with frustration. At least when she was working, she wasn’t haunted by memories,
both distant and recent, incapable of moving past them.
    Having the job be challenging would be the least of her worries
now. No wonder she was having bad dreams and doubts about her ability to
perform. With the “welcome back” assignment that had prompted her to seek an
early return in the first place, she could only hope she’d rise to the
occasion.
    She’d been passed over several times for serial-killer
assignments and had been chomping at the bit for one. She had no illusions about
how stressful they could be. How tough. But she wanted to prove once and for
all, just in case there was any doubt, that she could handle any case the DOJ
threw at her. Now, thanks to Mac, she had her chance.
    She’d assured him she was fine, physically and emotionally.
That she needed the rigors of an assignment like this one to get back into the
game. Only she couldn’t deny that things had changed since she’d shot Kevin
Porter. She had changed. And she wasn’t sure what to
do about it.
    Despite knowing Porter was armed, despite knowing it could mean
her life, she’d hesitated to shoot him. And when she had finally shot, she’d
missed. Granted, she hadn’t missed the second time around, but that did little
to reassure her.
    It figured that it was only when she was at her least confident
and most shaken up that the brass finally gave her the lead on a serial-killer
case. They probably viewed the assignment as a damn medal of valor, not only a
reward for her impressive closure record over the past year but a consolation
prize for getting wounded on the job and having to make her first kill. She
didn’t want to get a choice assignment based on pity, but it didn’t matter. It
was hers.
    So what if she’d hesitated to shoot a teenager? Even when she’d
been on SWAT, she’d never actually shot to kill before. Her hesitation had been
natural. Understandable. But she wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. This was
her chance to prove herself and move closer toward a management position with
DOJ.
    She loved being a special agent. Loved working the streets. As
a female, however, she’d never have significant power there, no matter how good
a cop she was. As upper management, on the other hand, she’d be able to wield
the kind of power that would make a real difference when it came to making
people safe. And somehow, being a powerful woman in a political position wasn’t
viewed