Selby Santa Read Free Page A

animals, they come out looking a little bit like the mother and a little bit like the father. I want dogs that look exactly like Selby, every one of them. The only way to do that is to clone him.’
    ‘Clone me?’ Selby thought.
    ‘Clone him?’ Mrs Trifle asked. ‘You mean take a tiny piece of him and then grow it in a laboratory?’
    ‘Well, yes. We haven’t actually cloned anything yet, so we might need to take a few pieces till we work it out.’
    ‘
Gulp
— a few pieces of me?’ Selby thought.
    ‘They’d be very small pieces, Mrs Trifle. I’d take him to our laboratory in the city. There would be quite a lot of him left over by the time I got the cloning right. I’d bring back the rest of him, of course.’
    ‘Quite a lot of me left over?!
Sheeeesh
!’ Selby squealed in his brain. ‘I want
all
of me to be left over!’
    ‘I’m terribly sorry, Dr Schnipskin,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘I’m afraid I can’t allow it. I want him to stay exactly the way he is.’
    ‘But I’d be prepared to pay you a lot of money.’
    ‘I’m sorry but I’m not interested.’
    ‘Well, that’s unfortunate,’ the man said. ‘I’ve been searching the world for the perfect dogand Selby seems just right. He’s such a handsome hunk of dog, so strong, so muscular, so fit. I’m a bit of a body-builder myself and I know a champion when I see one. Oh well, it was a pleasure meeting you, Mrs Trifle.’
    ‘It was a pleasure meeting you, too, Dr Schnipskin. Goodbye. I guess we’ll probably never meet again.’
    ‘I hope not,’ Selby thought as the man drove away. ‘I never want to see that guy again.’
    Selby, a handsome hunk of dog? Is that what you’re thinking? Selby, strong, muscular and fit? A champion? Is this the same Selby from the Selby books? The answer is yes. Selby was no longer the not-too-big-and-not-too-small somewhat-overweight dog that he’d been for years. How he changed himself into a handsome hunk is a story in itself.
    It all started one day when Selby was out for his morning walk. It was the usual walk. He passed girl dogs and boy dogs and they all completely ignored him. A woman who wasn’t watching where she was walking even tripped over him.
    ‘Nobody notices me any more,’ he thought. ‘I’m invisible. They’d notice me if I was one of those poncy pedigree pooches — all clipped and scrubbed and brushed. But I’m not like that. I’m just a normal slightly-out-of-shape dog. Okay, so maybe I’m a lot out of shape.’
    Suddenly, Selby stopped in his tracks as something caught his eye. It was a new shop called Samantha’s Trim & Taut Fitness Centre. The sign above the window said:
    GET F IT AND STAY F IT!
    LOSE WEIGHT F AST!
    FL ING THAT F LAB IN SAM’S F ITNESS L AB!
    Selby could see a woman inside, jogging on a running machine.
    ‘I wish I was human,’ Selby sighed. ‘If I was, I’d go in and get super-fit like her. Then no one would ignore me any more.’
    Selby was standing in the doorway when the woman stopped running and came over to him. She gave him a pat as she looked at his name-tag.
    ‘Selby, is it? I’m Samantha,’ she said. ‘Well, Selby, you’re the first person to come in heretoday, only you’re not a person. What is wrong with these Bogusville people? Why won’t they come here?’
    ‘Poor Sam,’ Selby thought. ‘She doesn’t know that Bogusville people just aren’t going-to-the-gym people.’
    ‘I never should have opened my business here,’ Samantha went on. ‘All this exercise equipment cost me a fortune and no one wants to use it.’
    ‘The other thing Sam should know about Bogusville people,’ Selby thought, ‘is that they hate trying new things. They always wait for someone else to try them first.’
    ‘What is it with these people, Selby?’ Samantha said. ‘It’s as if they’re scared to be the first to try new things.’
    ‘You’ve got it,’ Selby thought. ‘Poor Sam — I think I see tears in her eyes. She seems like a lovely person