See You on the Backlot Read Free Page B

bender, Bettie – that’s the contortionist girl you saw up on the bally – in a skimpy costume, and she gets into the blade box. Now once she’s inside, she hands her costume out of one of the holes on the top to Murphy, the talker. Then he slides all these blades through the box, leaving them sticking in there while the girl is bending her body around in the box to keep from being impaled. See, once all the blades are in, the talker invites the men to come up and see the girl in the box, now without her costume. We tell them that she only gets the money they give, so they have to pay a dollar to come up and look. When they look through, they see that she’s in a bikini she had hidden under her costume – but by then they’ve already paid their money!
    Then, at the end of the show, our talker steps up to the curtain, close to the way out, and offers to let people step behind itfor another dollar. Because, of course, back there, they’ll see something even better!
    No, no… nothing like Barnum’s ‘this way to the egress’ gag, or tricking them into looking into a mirror or something. Not with any show that Charlie puts on! My pops, he went and got himself a real half-and-half… that’s a half-man half-woman gag for this circuit. She’s real nice. She told me she’s using the money from this season to go all the way. I didn’t ask her which direction she’s going. Honestly, I was kind of disgusted with it. I mean – here she is with an honest way to make money, just letting the rubes look at her, and she doesn’t have to say or do anything if she doesn’t want to, but she wants to change. It must be her boyfriend who doesn’t like people looking at her or something. I’ve seen him around and he looks like that type. I would never change for anyone… and I certainly don’t want anyone changing for me!
    I asked Pops about it, and he kinda laughed at me, which made me mad. Butthen he sat me down for a bit and began talking about being more understanding of other people, and keeping my mind open to other things. Honestly, I had stopped listening by that point. See, Charlie has been to college and stuff. One of the carnies asked me once why someone who’s a doctor would run a Ten-in-One in some flea-bitten sideshow, but one of the other guys told him to shut his yapper and BC. I didn’t see what the big deal was, you know, why that guy was telling him to Be Cool – but I was pretty young then. I asked Pops about it, but he didn’t tell me anything; he just looked sad and wandered off. It took me a bit to understand that not every doctor is the medical kind. I’m still not sure what kind of doctor Charlie is, but he’s the kind where I don’t have to go to some school away from him. He spends some time teaching me every morning before things get busy. It’s probably the best time of our day, because it’s usually too early for him to have had a drink yet. Sometimes, though, he hasn’t come sober from the night before.
    So, anyway, it’s the inside money that really helps pay everyone on the show. Of course, every time one of our people wanders off and never returns, or shorts
us
with the ticket money, or some bonehead makes a mistake that damages equipment or gets someone injured… well, that always seems to put us closer to disaster. That’s why I need to get back to do a count before it gets much later, and Charlie decides to head over the G-Top.
    You know the other day, Murphy – he’s been with our show a while – he says to me, ‘Boy – you don’t need to be spendin’ your time worryin’ about such things. You should spend your time just being the kid you’re supposed to be.’
    Now I ask you, would
you
want to spend your time just being some punk? Stuck in some crummy school? Stranded in one place ‘cause your da doesn’t care enough to take care of you after your mum’s gone? Sounds like something for the chumps, to me. Here, it’s me and my pops all the way!
    Besides, it’s