Secrets & Lies Read Free Page A

respected your wishes.”
    Then I said something that surprised me. “Maggie, the truth about my father has to be in those last two books. I’m—I think I might be ready to look at them again.”
    â€œMartin—”
    I held up my hands. “Come on, we both know we’ll have to eventually, right? How can we not? The prospect scares the hell out of me, but at the same time, it’s
crazy
that I haven’t plowed through all five of those diaries. Any other person would have read them all in one sitting.”
    â€œMartin, it’s perfectly understandable why it upsets you to read them. Are they still locked up in the safety deposit box?”
    â€œNo, they’re at my house. I never put them back.”
    â€œWell, you should, so you won’t be tempted.”
    I put down my fork and wiped my mouth with the napkin. I took another long gulp of wine and stood.
    â€œWhere are you going?”
    â€œHold on.” I went over to where I’d draped my sport jacket over a chair, reached into it, and pulled my Mom’s fourth diary out of the inside pocket. I went back to the table and set it in front of Maggie.“They’re all at the house except for this one, which I picked up before coming over. Maggie, I want to read it. I think I’m ready. There are still too many questions, too many—”
    â€œMartin, I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
    â€œI have to face it, Maggie. Come on, you know I do. You want to as well. Right?”
    She narrowed her eyes at me and tilted her head. “Are you sure? Should you talk to your psychiatrist first?”
    â€œAnd tell him what? He doesn’t know about the Stiletto. ‘Hey Doc, better monitor me more closely because I’m going to read the rest of the Black Stiletto’s diaries.’ He’ll have me committed.”
    She snickered and shook her head. “I don’t think he’d do that.”
    â€œLet’s do it, Maggie. We’ll read it together. We can read it to each other. It’ll be romantic.”
    â€œRomantic is not the word I’d use, but if you really think you can handle it, then all right.”
    â€œAwesome. Shall we start after I wash the dishes?”
    â€œIf you wish-es.”
    That made me laugh. I felt better, grateful that there was someone with whom I could share the bag of secrets my mother had buried so long ago.
    I knew the rest of the story would be a very rough ride.

2
Judy’s Diary
    1961
    J ANUARY 8, 1961
    I’ve been lazy, dear diary. After New Year’s I just didn’t feel like writing anything in my new diary until I had something to say. Well, I don’t really have anything to say
now
, ha ha, but I thought I’d better put
something
down on paper or I’d get out of the habit.
    It’s been business as usual at the gym. Despite the cold weather, the guys come in regularly for training and workouts. I expected to see Clark the other day, but he didn’t show up. Maybe he’s on winter break. I would have thought school was back in session by now, though. Freddie has been grumpy lately, not his normal self. I asked him about it last night at dinner, and he admitted that he wasn’t very happy. Ever since his heart attack last year—gosh, it was around this time exactly a year ago!—he’s had to cut down on his physical activity, and he doesn’t like it. He used to get in the ring and box with the boys, do his own workouts and more training and lessons; but all that ended. Now he sits behind the cash register and watches everyone. No wonder he feels bad. It’s like being kicked out of your own club.
    For the first time, he also confessed to being lonely. At first I said, “What do you mean, Freddie? I’m here. You’ve got tons of friends.” But he shook his head and said, “I’m talking about a woman, Judy.I haven’t had a
date
in, well, longer than I can