about power, manipulation and control. As part of this Jason had continually blamed me for all the wrongs he had done, for the lack of success he was getting and for the boozing that he did nearly every night.
Jason’s slap had also done something else; it had destroyed the love that I thought I had for Jason. It was like his physical harm had snapped the invisible chains that had bound me to him. I was free so now I could think clearly and I now I could act freely. Just as Jason was my jailor he was now my liberator.
This was why I didn’t cry. I was happy and as I calmly tidied up the mess that Jason had left I started thinking about what I would do next. I knew I could always go back and stay at my parent’s house but I did not want to move from one controlled space to another. However I may have to swallow my pride and do this for a few weeks until I sorted myself out. I had a job so I had some degree of financial independence so all I had to do was pack my stuff and go. There wasn’t much to pack since Jason didn’t buy me anything because most of his money went on booze.
As I thought through everything I realised that I was feeling happier than I had in months.
“This must be how newly released prisoners feel,” I thought to myself.
Comparing my marriage to a prison sentence was quite appropriate now that I thought about it. At least now I was getting time off for good behaviour and I’ve been released from a lifetime sentence. I was starting to get bitter that I had wasted the last two years trying to keep together a relationship that was never going to get better and in fact was doomed within months of it starting.
However I decided that I must no longer dwell on the past and I must look forward to the future with enthusiasm and hope. It surely can’t be any worse than the recent past.
Part Four
While I cleaned up the mess created by Jason I carried on listening to Neil Finn’s radio show. It was then that I started to worry about what Jason might do. When he was drunk he was even more violent than normal. I feared that Jason would go and drink again and then carry out his threats against Neil.
As if on cue the radio show became a nightmare.
“Is that you JP, what are you doing here, how did you get in past the security guards?”
“So you think you can sleep around with my wife do you Finn? Well I’m here to teach you a lesson. You were a nerd at school and you still are a nerd. I was the most popular student at school and I am the one who got to pick whichever girl I wanted. And what did you get Neil Finn? All you could do was hang out with your nerdy gay mates you dick!”
“You’re drunk JP. I haven’t slept around with your wife, I just dedicated a song she requested for your wedding anniversary though I have no idea why she bothered for such a fool like you.”
“Shut up you piece of shit. You can’t lie to me. I’m here to teach you a lesson and a lesson is what you are going to get!”
Jason’s words were followed by a lot of shouting as other people obviously arrived in the studio, presumably the security guards.
What I heard next made my blood run cold. It was Neil’s voice.
“Watch out he’s got a gun,” then there was a gunshot and then only static coming from the radio.
I screamed and jumped up to get my coat. I had to get down to the radio station to make sure Neil was all right. I was not concerned about Jason, only Neil. I ordered a cab and I was there in fifteen minutes although it felt like it took a lot longer.
By the time I got there the streets were crowded. Because the drama played out over the city’s radio station it was obvious why everyone had rushed to the radio station. The police had put up roadblocks and kept people well back from the building.
People were yelling out questions to the police.
“Has Neil Finn been shot?” “Is he okay?” “What’s happened to
Jason’s slap had also done something else; it had destroyed the love that I thought I had for Jason. It was like his physical harm had snapped the invisible chains that had bound me to him. I was free so now I could think clearly and I now I could act freely. Just as Jason was my jailor he was now my liberator.
This was why I didn’t cry. I was happy and as I calmly tidied up the mess that Jason had left I started thinking about what I would do next. I knew I could always go back and stay at my parent’s house but I did not want to move from one controlled space to another. However I may have to swallow my pride and do this for a few weeks until I sorted myself out. I had a job so I had some degree of financial independence so all I had to do was pack my stuff and go. There wasn’t much to pack since Jason didn’t buy me anything because most of his money went on booze.
As I thought through everything I realised that I was feeling happier than I had in months.
“This must be how newly released prisoners feel,” I thought to myself.
Comparing my marriage to a prison sentence was quite appropriate now that I thought about it. At least now I was getting time off for good behaviour and I’ve been released from a lifetime sentence. I was starting to get bitter that I had wasted the last two years trying to keep together a relationship that was never going to get better and in fact was doomed within months of it starting.
However I decided that I must no longer dwell on the past and I must look forward to the future with enthusiasm and hope. It surely can’t be any worse than the recent past.
Part Four
While I cleaned up the mess created by Jason I carried on listening to Neil Finn’s radio show. It was then that I started to worry about what Jason might do. When he was drunk he was even more violent than normal. I feared that Jason would go and drink again and then carry out his threats against Neil.
As if on cue the radio show became a nightmare.
“Is that you JP, what are you doing here, how did you get in past the security guards?”
“So you think you can sleep around with my wife do you Finn? Well I’m here to teach you a lesson. You were a nerd at school and you still are a nerd. I was the most popular student at school and I am the one who got to pick whichever girl I wanted. And what did you get Neil Finn? All you could do was hang out with your nerdy gay mates you dick!”
“You’re drunk JP. I haven’t slept around with your wife, I just dedicated a song she requested for your wedding anniversary though I have no idea why she bothered for such a fool like you.”
“Shut up you piece of shit. You can’t lie to me. I’m here to teach you a lesson and a lesson is what you are going to get!”
Jason’s words were followed by a lot of shouting as other people obviously arrived in the studio, presumably the security guards.
What I heard next made my blood run cold. It was Neil’s voice.
“Watch out he’s got a gun,” then there was a gunshot and then only static coming from the radio.
I screamed and jumped up to get my coat. I had to get down to the radio station to make sure Neil was all right. I was not concerned about Jason, only Neil. I ordered a cab and I was there in fifteen minutes although it felt like it took a lot longer.
By the time I got there the streets were crowded. Because the drama played out over the city’s radio station it was obvious why everyone had rushed to the radio station. The police had put up roadblocks and kept people well back from the building.
People were yelling out questions to the police.
“Has Neil Finn been shot?” “Is he okay?” “What’s happened to
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