Scary Dead Things - 02 Read Free Page A

Mom's prized silverware?”
     
    “Borrowed is more like it,” he went on. “Besides, I don't see anything wrong with taking a little advance on my inheritance...especially in the name of research.”
     
    “You know there's probably a special room in hell reserved just for you, right?”
     
    “As long as it has air conditioning, then I'm cool with it,” he answered. “Now hold still. This might sting a bit.”
     
    I don't know why I let him. Maybe I was getting used to it after all. Maybe I was just tired from the day's work ( not to mention that vampires and normal work hours don't mesh too well under the best of circumstances ). More than likely, I just knew that he'd get me eventually. Even if I flat out told him “No!” now, he'd probably just wait and then stab me in the neck the second I stopped paying attention. Whatever the insane reason, I held still as he jammed the damn thing into me.
     
    “Well?” he asked, the fork sticking out of the back of my hand and small drops of blood starting to well up around the tines.
     
    “Well, it fucking hurts! Pull it out!”
     
    “Give it a sec.”
     
    “Now...OW!” I yelled as first smoke and then sparks started shooting out of the wounds in my hand.
     
    “Holy shit, it worked! I knew it!” he exclaimed while the skin around the fork wounds started to char and turn black. “Oh, sorry,” he said, suddenly remembering me and finally yanking the accursed cutlery out of my hand.
     
    Goddamn, that was painful! The bleeding and burning were bad enough, but it also felt like there was a small legion of miners under the skin of my hand, hacking away with dull pickaxes. All in all, a dandy load of fun.
     
    * * *
     
    What had happened to me was now happening to Samuel, albeit in a slightly more central location. As much as I had wanted to punch out Tom's lights at the time, I had to grudgingly admit that this one might be a keeper. Further ( reluctant ) testing had shown two other interesting side effects. For starters, silver was safe to the touch for vampires. I was able to hold and even eat with it. Yeah, that eating part took some convincing by Tom, but he’s nothing if not persistent. Whatever its effect, it apparently only happened when in contact with vampire blood. Kind of like dropping a magnesium flare into a pool of water.
     
    Even better, albeit worse for me at the time, was that something in the silver retarded a vampire's enhanced healing. Instead of a few minutes, it took all night for my hand to get back to normal. So even if Samuel managed to pry loose the fork, which was rapidly turning his back into something that resembled a roman candle, it was going to be a while before he was feeling good about it.
     
    Blinded by both rage and pain, Samuel more or less lost it. He screamed inarticulately and began spinning around, attempting to get at the source of his pain. He spun around and around as his back continued to be engulfed in flames. He plowed into and through another wall, but the fork was stuck fast.
     
    This was my chance, and I wasn't about to let it go. I picked up another plank of wood from the rubble, then snapped it in half over my knee, making sure one of the pieces ended in a nice, sharp point. It would make a dandy makeshift stake.
     
    “Form blazing sword, motherfucker!” I shouted as I ran to finish him off. Yeah, I need to work on my one-liners. Apparently, I still have to work on not being a cocky dickhead either. Aflame or not, my dorky catchphrase managed to get Samuel's attention. As I closed in, stake held high, he caught me square on the chin with an uppercut that sent me flying.
     

Time for a Recap
     
     
     
    It's one thing to be hit. It's quite another to be caught square on the jaw. It's like time stops for a few moments. During those few seconds, there's a disconnect between the mind and the body. The mind can still be semi-rational, even a little detached. “Well, that was certainly a good shot, wasn't