Scared of Beautiful Read Free Page A

face. As I examine every little delicate feature, I notice that when I look into her eyes, they mirror mine exactly. I didn’t tell Jade I found her. I didn’t tell Jade that I spent almost every cent that I earned on private investigators to find her. I didn’t tell my parents either. No one knows, except me. Just like no one knows that one day after a few beers too many, I had dialed the number the investigator gave me and was greeted by the sweetest little voice in the world on the other end. And no one knows that when her mother took the phone from her hand and I called her out on her lie, she gently hung the phone up. No love lost there, I guess .
    And then that moment, you know that point when you just have to say “Fuck it!”? I had a moment like that one. I know she’s lying, but the investigator showed me a birth certificate without my name on it. And to think I didn’t follow Jade to Brown because I was waiting in a small time suburb in the hopes that one day she would come back home. I squint as the glaring afternoon sun peeks at me from behind a silver-lined cloud. This is precisely why I have no desire to go near another woman anytime this decade. I know I probably shouldn’t be so bitter; not every girl is Shana, and I am definitely a lot fucking smarter than I was back then. No hat, no sex; a simple rule that I could kick myself for not following in high school.
    I shake my thoughts away from the negativity that is invading my mind. I’m here for a new start. I hold my hand over the phone, my finger hovering over the menu button wherein the delete function lies. The bouncy curls and bright eyes stare back at me and I close the gallery. I’ll keep the photo. And make sure Jade never sees it. If she knows I found Shana and didn’t tell her, she’d never forgive me. I shove the phone into my pocket, deciding that distraction is my best option. As I make my way to the huge campus library to try to find my textbooks for this semester, the familiar golden brown hair and frame of my half-friend comes into view. I pick up my pace to a casual jog until I catch up to her. Maia has changed into a pair of yoga pants and a razorback tank. She has taken her makeup off and I wonder to myself why she even bothers with that shit to begin with. She’s even more beautiful without it.
    “It’s not safe for you to be out here after sun down unescorted!”
    My teasing comment causes her to stop and visibly stiffen. I jog up the last few stairs until I’m one step above her. She pulls her hair into a messy bun as she turns her head in my direction.
    “Hey!” Her expression is pleasant, and it stuns me.
    Maybe she’s not so stone cold after all .
    Judging by the way she’s fumbling with the corner of her book bag, she’s nervous as hell around me. I don’t get this chick. I really don’t. I may not be interested in anyone, but I generally have the ability to charm the pants off of anyone who’s unfortunate enough to come near me. But her obvious indifference to me makes me want to ask her what her favorite food, color and movie are.
    “What are you up to?” I ask, as casually as I can muster.
    “Just need to grab a few books,” she answers, chewing on her bottom lip nervously, though her eyes stay focused and determined. Her lips may be her only tell.
    “Mind if I tag along? I have no idea where to look for what I need. Little help please?” I cringe inwardly, preparing for the shutdown that she’s about to hand me, and my face morphs into obvious shock when she answers with a casual shrug of her shoulders.
    “Sure,” she replies.
    We make our way past the eight librarians that occupy the enormous reference desk and situate ourselves at one of the study spaces towards the back. She lays her book bag down and looks towards me. “So, what do you need?”
    An image flashes through my mind of Maia, laying flat on her back right here on this table, with me running my hands up her thighs. I shake the