watch TV with my moms anymore, because they wonât stop asking me stuff.
Every time we sit down to watch TV, they immediately dive into this weirdly pointless Q and A.
âDid you know about this Facebook bullying thing, Montgomery?â
No.
âOh look, Monty! Is that a Goth?â
Ugh. NO.
âGluten-free. Montgomery, isnât that like wheat-free?â
No clue.
âHey, Montgomery, is that the same actor as the one in the movie that you like?â
Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I said, âI have no idea what youâre talking about, moms , because you havenât included any actual names in that sentence. So letâs say no .â
Theyâd probably just zoom onto the next question. âWhat was the name of that play you did last year? Was it Hamlet , Montgomery?â
No, in fact, it was called Iâm trying to watch TV .
Itâs easier if I just watch stuff by myself, upstairs in my room, on my parental guardianâmonitored Netflix account.
As I padded through the hallway, passing the living room on my way to the kitchen, Momma Jo turned and popped her head up over the couch. âHey! Monty!â she shouted, pointing at the screen. âDidnât we watch something like this before? About this woman but in the other show she was a doctor? Is that possible? Monty! Montgomery! Hello? What are you doing?â
âNothing,â I said, slip-skating across the floor. I was weirdly kind of happy. Like, not laughing-for-no-reason happy, but at least a little happy. Like a kid whoâs just discovered that socks on hardwood floors is like skates on ice. I twirled a perfect 360 and skidded into the kitchen.
The Eye of Know , I thought as I perused the cupboards for the perfect snack. The words felt good swishing around in my brain. Eye. Know. All. Possibly my greatest discovery?
âWhatâs up with you?â Mama Kate chirped, stepping into the kitchen, the popcorn bowl dangling empty by her side. âAre you going to watch TV with us?â
âNothing,â I said. âAnd, uh, Iâm doing work upstairs, so not tonight.â
âYour clothes are so big and old. You look weird,â Tesla huffed as she wandered in behind Mama Kate. âWhereâs the popcorn?â
âTheyâre supporting my core,â I retorted.
âDo you want new clothes?â Mama Kate asked, raising an eyebrow. âI feel like weâre overdue for a shop.â
âNah. Iâm good.â
Iâd been doing just fine on Goodwill finds and mom hand-me-downs. Momma Jo didnât mind my duds.
Many of them were her castoffs.
Flinging the freezer door open, I grabbed one of the cartons of fancy blueberry gelato and beat it back up to my room.
Then I texted Thomas.
Me: Date done? Call me.
I guess you could say that Thomas is kind of like my big-brother-slash-best-friend because heâs supermature, and I say this not just because heâs a year older than I am (and a grade ahead).
I have often told him that, technically, that should make us even, since boys are so much less mature than girls.
Scientifically proven, by the way.
Thomas says gay boys mature faster than straight boys because they pay more attention to the world around them.
That night Thomas came on the phone humming the theme from some cartoon series heâs obsessed with.
I said, âDoes shopping online ever make you inexplicably happy?â
Thomas considered. âUm, sometimes. What did you buy?â
âA crystal from a really ugly website.â
Thomas snorted. âYou and Naoki and your crystals and your dreams.â
âHow was your date?â I said.
âMy date with The Butcher?â I could tell he was painting his nails because I was clearly on speakerphone and he was taking little pauses of concentration. âHeâs an urban poet. An urban poet and ⦠a butcher.â
âSurprise, surprise.â
Thomas says
Richard Erdoes, Alfonso Ortiz