Saints of Augustine Read Free Page B

went over. The house was owned by a man named David, who shared the living space.
    His dad was an architect who sometimes wrote textbooks, and he was working on a new one now. David was some sort of financial consultant.
    David was nice, and funny, and maybe a little older than Sam’s dad. Hannah was crazy about him—though she tended to toss affection around like confetti, Sam thought, remembering the comment he’d heard her make that morning: “I love you, Teddy.” Ugh! Sam liked David, too. He was always relaxed. Sam’s dad even seemed relaxed—for the first time in Sam couldn’t remember how long. He seemed happy . Sam had been glad for him, but he hadn’t quite understood. Was a new friend and a bigger house enough to turn someone around, make him a happy, smiling person? Was it enough to make him want to start a whole new life?
    â€œYou know your mother and I still care about each other a great deal,” his dad had told him once,when they were alone in the kitchen.
    â€œBut you don’t want to live together?”
    â€œThat’s right. On a certain level, we just didn’t get along. It happens with people, and the best thing they can do is be honest with each other about how they feel; otherwise, they just stay unhappy. But it doesn’t mean we’re not still a family. We are. Always remember that.”
    â€œBut we’re not,” Sam said, confused. “You and Mom don’t even like talking to each other on the phone.”
    â€œWell, people fight, Sam. Sometimes the fight gets so big that you can’t pretend it’s not there anymore, you know what I mean? I still care about your mother, and I want you to know that I’m always there for you. And for Hannah, too. We’re still a family.”
    Whatever, Sam had wanted to say, because it still didn’t make sense to him.
    Then, several months ago, it all became clear—sort of. Sam and Hannah had come over for a cook-out by the pool. Hannah was practicing cannonballs, and Sam dried off and went into the house to use the bathroom. As he turned into the hall, he sawDavid sitting at the desk in his bedroom, staring at the computer. “This is great!” David said. “Thank you! It’s twice as fast now. You must have cleaned out a lot of junk.” Then Sam’s dad appeared behind David, put his hands on David’s shoulders, and leaned over. He looked at the computer screen for a moment, then kissed the side of David’s neck and said, “You’re welcome.”
    Sam had ducked into the bathroom and quietly closed the door. He stared at himself in the large mirror behind the sink, utterly confused. His dad didn’t seem gay. Neither did David. And if they were gay, then why would his dad have married his mom in the first place? Was this something his dad had just recently figured out? Sam couldn’t wrap his brain around it. His mother had wrapped her brain around it, that was for sure. It must have been what all those fights were about, back when his dad still lived with them.
    Hannah, Sam was certain, had no idea. She was such a blabbermouth that she would have said something to him by now.
    It was almost too crazy to think about—except that, in a way, Sam had always thought about two guystogether that way; he’d been imagining what it would be like to kiss and touch another boy since he was, what, ten? He’d tried to make himself not imagine it, but that had proved impossible. And he’d spent a lot of time worrying about how people might react if they found out about him. Especially his family.
    Now, knowing what his parents had gone through and how it had split them apart, his situation only seemed worse. It was like his dad had done something wrong, and now Sam wanted to venture into that same territory, which would only upset everyone, and everything, all over again. Granted, there was gay stuff all over the place—in the