Sabin, A Seven Novel Read Free Page A

The tears flowed unchecked and it only made them laugh harder. Normally I didn’t dare let them see how hurt and upset I was, but I couldn’t prevent it that day. It was like everything came crumbling down. When the bus got to my stop, I didn’t get up. The driver finally had to get out of her seat, grab my arm, and drag me to the door. When I got home, it was only to face one more nightmare.
    “Please don’t cut my hair, Mom.”
    “Shut up, Serena. You’re nothing but trouble. Every day of my life. Now get over here.”
    “But if you cut my hair, it will only be worse. They’ll make even more fun of me.”
    “Stop complaining. All you do is complain. I’m tired of all the notes I get from your school. Every day it’s something else. Why can’t you act right? I never had these kinds of problems with your sisters. What’s wrong with you?”
    Thinking back, I can’t understand why my mom didn’t care enough about me to buy me new clothes. And how could kids be so cruel? What did it accomplish? I never did anything to them. I was just some poorly dressed student who happened to be in their class, but I never bothered anyone. In fact I did everything possible not to be noticed and to stay clear of them.
    Going home brings it all back to me, these terrible memories. It took me a while to get comfortable with making friends. It’s a trust thing. I was treated so horribly for those formative years that it was difficult to tear down the walls and let anyone in. It took about a year after I went to college, but eventually I got there. When I listen to my friends talk about the good old days—middle school and high school, where they participated in fun pranks and spend the night parties consisting of sneaking out at night and doing crazy things, I have a blank slate. My memories are nothing but tears, loneliness, shame, and humiliation. And of wanting to get the hell out of here and away from those awful people. And then there are my parents. They almost made me feel too guilty to go away to college. They tried to persuade me to stay home to take care of them, do their housework and chores, even though I had been offered a full scholarship to Duke University. Thank God for my guidance counselor! She understood my situation and explained I would be passing up a chance of a lifetime. As I sit in my parent’s home, I still remember hearing them complain about what a financial burden I was. I didn’t have any idea what “financial burden” meant, so I would dream it was a fancy term for beautiful princess. Beautiful princess, my ass. No toys or stuffed animals to keep me company. No new dresses with pretty lace and bows. Even my shoes were hand me downs. Had I not listened to my counselor, I would still be here, probably wearing those damn mothball scented clothes.
    My mother stares at me with pinched lips. “You look sour-faced,” she says. Like she doesn’t? Sadly, I never remember her smiling.
    No wonder. I want to say to her, “How should I look coming back into the land of the unloved and unwanted?” But I don’t. I stretch my lips into a thin smile and say, “I’m tired. Work has been a bit tough these past few weeks.”
    “You need a real job, Serena, like your sisters have. I don’t know why you insist on that silly underwater stuff. You should be a secretary.”
    Here we go again. “Mother, I don’t want to be a secretary. I’ve told you this already. Dozens of times. I love what I do. Let’s not get into this again.”
    “I just don’t understand you. Wearing all that, that horrible equipment or whatever you call it. You’re going to die down there. It’s not a place for people.”
    “Mother, stop it. That’s a terrible thing to say to your daughter.”
    “It’s the truth, and you know it.” She points a long, fat finger at me.
    “No, I don’t know it. If I thought it was unsafe, I wouldn’t do it. But the fact is if done properly, SCUBA diving is perfectly safe. Now let’s end