light,” said Ruby, looking around for their suitcases.
“Oh, yes,” said her mother. “The airline managed to lose every piece of our luggage. Can you believe it!”
“So I guess you lost all your vacation pictures too?” said Ruby, hopefully. Ruby had endured many tedious hours of her parents’ vacation snapshots and would go to any reasonable lengths to avoid the misery of a family slide show.
“No,” said her father. “Luckily I kept all the film in my carry-on luggage. I can’t wait to get them developed. You’ll see I got some beautiful shots.” Ruby considered this unlikely; Brant was a horrible photographer.
After an effusive welcome from a very excited Mrs. Digby —
“Good to have you back at last, you’ve been away too long!”—
and a good deal more fussing —
“You’ve lost weight, Mrs. R., you need feeding up”
— supper was ready and the family sat down to eat. Mrs. Digby had gone to a lot of trouble with the table, and there was a huge floral display that was very difficult to see over or, indeed, around.
During dinner, Ruby’s parents burbled on about the wonderful hotel and the delicious schnitzel and the beautiful Alps. And the conversation went something like this:
SABINA:
Quite the tastiest schnitzel I have ever tasted.
BRANT:
And what about those Alps! Talk about high.
Until Ruby wished they would start talking about the Jade Buddha again. But then, of course, they did.
SABINA:
Speaking of Switzerland, Marjorie mentioned that the Buddha’s glass display case has been expertly designed by a Swiss
expert.
No one’s met him,
no one.
He’s a complete recluse.
BRANT:
Oh, yes, that’s right. A fellow named . . . what’s his name, honey?
RUBY:
Klaus Gustav.
Ruby hadn’t exactly been
listening,
but she had been party to so many of these discussions that her brain had absorbed all the interesting and less-than-interesting details.
SABINA:
That’s right, Ruby! Well, according to Marjorie, the glass display case will be the shape of a cylinder and is going to rise up through the museum floor at the stroke of midnight!
BRANT:
How does he do it, do you think?
SABINA:
Beats me! Must be some kind of magician. No one even knows how you get that glass cylinder open — it’s top secret.
BRANT:
Well, if their glass is as excellent as their schnitzel we are going to be in for a treat!
. . . and they were back to talking about schnitzel again.
Ruby wished hard for some kind of distraction before her brain froze over. And her wish was granted by a loud thud and a high-pitched shriek.
“Whatever in the world was that?” exclaimed Mrs. Redfort.
“Sounded like dessert,” said Ruby.
“What?” said her mother.
“I must say having Consuela around is great if you are looking to lose weight, but I am afraid our friend Bug has been pounding it on.”
“Bug’s been putting on weight? What do you mean? Why would Bug put on weight?” asked Mrs. Redfort.
“On account of all the low-flying food in there,” replied Ruby. “Mrs. Digby and Consuela throw ingredients at each other nearly every night. Most of it ends up on the floor and Bug is only too happy to clean up, if you know what I mean.”
“What!” said Brant, who was very much against pets eating their owners’ food.
There was a crashing sound followed by a yelp.
“Yeah,
I’ve
pretty much gotten used to it but you may get complaints from the neighbors any day soon.”
“Oh, we don’t want that,” said Brant, looking over toward where Mr. Parker lived. Mr. Parker was a very difficult man.
“Get used to what?” said Sabina.
“Kitchen friction.” replied Ruby. “Mrs. Digby can’t stand Consuela, and Consuela can’t stand Mrs. Digby. It’s been like this ever since you guys went away.”
“Really?” said Sabina.
“Oh, yeah,” said Ruby, raising her voice a little to make herself heard over what sounded like the smashing of a cut-glass tulip vase. “It’s been terrible. I must say