Royal Wedding Read Free Page B

anymore either). The whole time, I couldn’t stop lying. What kind of person lies to her best friend? Well, one of her best friends.
    Our conversation started out normally enough—Tina swore she couldn’t see my eye twitching, even when I said the words guaranteed to bring on the twitch:
    â€œDad’s going to lose the election and my cousin Ivan will be the new prime minister of Genovia. He’ll do nothing for the immigration problem, but he will destroy the country’s fragile ecosystem and infrastructure by dredging the harbor and allowing cruise ships larger than the Costa Concordia to dock at the Port of Princess Clarisse.”
    â€œReally, Mia, I can’t see it,” Tina assured me. “I’m not saying it’s all in your head, but I don’t think you need to worry.”
    I could feel my eyelid pulsating like Sigourney Weaver’s stomach in the movie Alien, so I knew she was fibbing to make me feel better.
    Maybe that’s why later on in the conversation, I returned the favor.
    Still, since Tina’s in med school at NYU, it was refreshing to hear her take on twitching eyes, which she knew all about since she just did a section on ophthalmology. She confirmed everything Dr. Delgado said. It’s nice to know I’m not seeing a quack.
    I didn’t ask her about the thing Michael told me, though. I didn’t want to remind her of her ex, Boris, with whom she’s been going through an extremely painful breakup.
    â€œI think it’s good for you to get back into journaling,” Tina said. “I tried it, too, in the hopes it would help me not to think so much about . . . well, you know.”
    Well, so much for not talking about her ex. That’s when our conversation started going downhill, and I started lying my head off.
    I felt forced to ask: “Did journaling help?”
    â€œNo,” she said, with a sigh. “I really think I might be addicted to Boris. Did you know a medical study showed that participants who had recently experienced a breakup had the exact same brain activity as people going through drug withdrawal?”
    Ack.
    â€œWell,” I said, trying to keep my tone upbeat. “You’re a strong, independent woman, and I know you’re going to break that bad habit!”
    â€œThanks.” She sighed again. “It’s so hard, though. I thought Boris and I would stay together forever, the way you and Michael have.”
    Ugh. Ugh, ugh, ugh.
    Look, I know it’s weird that I’m nearly twenty-six and still dating my high school boyfriend. Believe me, I’m more than aware of what a cliché it is.
    But it gets even worse: almost all my friends are people I went to high school with, too.
    But in my own defense, when you find out at the tender age of fourteen that you’re the heir to a throne and a billion-dollar fortune (because my mom and dad never got married, and Dad always thought he could have more kids. Due to chemo for cancer that fortunately has remained in remission, he cannot), who are you going to trust, the people who knew and liked you before you got on Forbes List of Richest Young Royals, or the people you met after ?
    The answer is obvious. I can’t even count the number of guys I dated after I found out I was a princess who turned out to only be interested in me for my tiara.
    (Well, yes, I can, actually: two. Josh Richter and J. P. Reynolds-Abernathy IV. Not that I’m still bitter about it, or hold a grudge against them, or asked to have my Facebook password taken away and changed so I don’t spend hours obsessively looking up every detail of their lives to make sure they’re miserable without me, because only a weirdo would do that.)
    â€¢Â Â Â  Note to self: Ask Dominique what the new password is because it would be quite nice to see the photos Lana is posting of her new baby. I’m sure that at nearly twenty-six, I am mature (and self-actualized)