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beat you up?’
    ‘I was only there for a morning. They said they would, though.’
    ‘I don’t think they’d have appreciated you. I think it was a wise call, coming here. I’ll make sure nobody touches you, Oli. But you will have to do a few jobs – is
that OK?’
    Oli licked his lips nervously. His Adam’s apple bobbed and he looked around him, as if to check nobody could hear. He leaned forward in his seat. ‘You seem very decent,’ he
said. ‘Do you have any, mmm . . . hobbies?’
    ‘Hobbies?’ said Millie. ‘What, like stamp-collecting?’
    Oli was nodding.
    ‘No,’ said Millie.
    ‘I do.’
    ‘I bet you do.’
    ‘We’ve got a really good hobby. Sam’s into it as well, so’s my brother. If you like . . .’ Again he looked around nervously and pulled a booklet out of a pocket.
‘For a job, I mean . . . I’ll show you how to make one of these. I’ve got loads of spares.’
    ‘What is it?’
    Oli pushed the booklet across the table and Millie glanced quickly down tiny columns of small print, taking in complex-looking cross-section diagrams. Oli’s face had changed; it was now
eager. He stood up and leaned forward, his nose close to the page. He was breathing quickly. ‘Four-wheel-drives, radio-controlled. That’s just the chassis, showing how to mount the
clutch. Sam’s got a Land Rover. I’ve got an earth-mover, more of a drill really. It’s the sort of thing you use to make underground railways; it drills the soil and clears it. If
you like, I could make you the submarine.’
    ‘Could you do me a favour, Oli?’
    The child nodded.
    ‘While I’m reading this, could you get me a saucer I can use as an ashtray?’ Millie had produced a cigarette. She was searching for her lighter. Oli gazed up at her, his tongue
just visible between his lips.
    ‘Your first errand,’ said Millie. ‘Go and get a saucer, and see what’s happened to my hot chocolate.’
    ‘OK.’
    ‘In fact, Oli?’
    The boy turned, hands up at his chest.
    ‘Get the menu, will you? I want proper food.’
    Oli trotted off. Outside a fire-engine manoeuvred past Father O’Hanrahan’s car and got the foam hoses ready. It said something for Oli’s new sense of responsibility that he
didn’t drift off to watch. He did everything Millie had asked, making sure she had salt and pepper cellars, a napkin, and even a towel for her dripping hair. Then he sat next to her and
explained exactly how her submarine would work.
    Millie discovered that she was getting quite interested. She put down her fork and took the boy’s small, frail ear between her fingers.
    Oli stopped talking and stared with big fascinated eyes.
    ‘You’re actually quite cute,’ she said. ‘I think we’re going to be friends.’
    The blood rushed to Oli’s face and in three seconds he was scarlet.

Chapter Three
    Back at Ribblestrop Towers, it was still Christmas.
    Father Christmas himself was sitting on a desk. Opposite him stood a large snowman and on the sofa, looking anxiously through thick glasses, sat an elderly fairy. The school hadn’t had a
Christmas party at the end of the winter term; it hadn’t seemed appropriate as the police were still in the grounds recovering the body-parts of the deputy headmistress. The headmaster,
Captain Routon and Professor Worthington had therefore been keen to start the new term in celebration and style – hence the fancy dress.
    Downstairs, the orphans were waiting, dressed as elves. The feast was laid, and there were gifts, jellies, and crackers plus an enormous gingerbread model of the school. There was to be a disco
and finally a film.
    The headmaster put the telephone back into its cradle.
    ‘Bad news,’ he said.
    ‘What’s happened?’ said the captain.
    ‘There’s been a car accident and they’re all stuck in Somerset. They won’t be down till tomorrow.’
    ‘Anybody hurt, Giles?’ said the fairy.
    ‘No, thankfully – everyone’s fine. I didn’t quite understand the details; there