I'm home !” h e called again, but there was still no answer.
He concluded that she must be in the bedroom, perhaps s he had gone back to bed. As h e made his way upstairs, the thought of seeing Sarah and telling her everything that had happened was all that concerned him, he therefore thought nothing off it when he was forced to step over a large pair of cowboy boots that had been placed at the top of the landing. As he approached the door to their bedroom, it began to open. In a moment, he would abandon himself to Sarah's bosom, he would tell her all about Mr Draper and the humiliating sacking, and she would tell him not to worry for as long as they had each other, everything would always be perfect. Perhaps, she would be wearing a sexy little black number, and as she wiped away his tears, they would find each other's lips, and after a long sensuous kiss, they would then retire to bed together. He felt thoroughly cheered by this thought, and as he basked in the approaching love, a huge bearded man stepped out to meet him.
“ E r hi, you must be Pete ,” said the huge bearded man.
He was silent.
“ Pete right ?! ” o rdered the huge bearded man.
“ Yes ,” he whimpered assent.
The huge man was naked, naked that is, were it not for a pair of Pete's baggier boxer shorts that the man was currently sporting as though the y were nothing more than the mere suggestion of a thong .
“ My friends call me Bear ,” said Bear, holding out his hand to shake.
“ The hand that sunk a thousand ships ,” he thought , as he held out his own in response, fearing that it would never be seen again .
“ You see the thing is Pete, is that me and my Sarah are having an affair with you ,” Bear explained som ewhat cryptically, shaking hi s hand as he spoke.
The big guy's eyes then seemed to glaze over as if he was struggling to engage an organ rarely used, Bear's brain. Pete however, was utterly unaware of these quite considerable efforts, having entirely succumbed to the elation of receiving his hand back in recognisable form.
“ And the matter of the fact is, is that she don’ t want you no more ,” Bear finished triumphantly.
It took a while for Pete to get a grip on the situation, and decrypt the meaning that was hidden in the jumbled giant's language. Having finally accomplished this, he then found that his own control over the English language seemed to have forsaken him.
“ Can I with Sarah speak ?”
Bear paused, and stroking his beard as though attempting to portray the medium of thought, then replied:
“ Dunno, I'll go see ,” and with that, he went back into Pete's bedroom.
Having been left alone, Pete attempted a spot of rational thought. He had been fired, so he would get another job. His girlfriend was having an affair with a Bear man, but there were still plenty more fish in the sea. All in all, things were not all that bad, he would simply ask them to leave, sit down somewhere comfortable, and then begi n to plan a new life for himself . In fact, this might all turn out for the better, and as he was beginning to feel almost happy about things, Bear reappeared from the bedroom.
“ We want you to leave ,” he said.
“ What? !” c ried Pete , “ that isn't fair !”
“ Oh, I totally agree,” said Bear somewhat coolly , “ but she asked me to give you a good kicking if you don't leave immediately.”
“ What about all my stuff ?”
“ Hold on .”
Bear poked his giant head back into the bedroom.
“ We'll have it delivered ,” he resumed.
“ I sup pose there's nothing I can do then ,” Pete mumbled at Bear's feet.
“ No not really, not unless you're one of those Jackie Chan little guys ,” said Bear flexing his muscles as he spoke.
“ No, I tend to talk my way out of trouble ,” he replied dejectedly.
“ Well, by all means, talk away, but if you're not out of my house within the next couple of minutes, I'll bash you
He concluded that she must be in the bedroom, perhaps s he had gone back to bed. As h e made his way upstairs, the thought of seeing Sarah and telling her everything that had happened was all that concerned him, he therefore thought nothing off it when he was forced to step over a large pair of cowboy boots that had been placed at the top of the landing. As he approached the door to their bedroom, it began to open. In a moment, he would abandon himself to Sarah's bosom, he would tell her all about Mr Draper and the humiliating sacking, and she would tell him not to worry for as long as they had each other, everything would always be perfect. Perhaps, she would be wearing a sexy little black number, and as she wiped away his tears, they would find each other's lips, and after a long sensuous kiss, they would then retire to bed together. He felt thoroughly cheered by this thought, and as he basked in the approaching love, a huge bearded man stepped out to meet him.
“ E r hi, you must be Pete ,” said the huge bearded man.
He was silent.
“ Pete right ?! ” o rdered the huge bearded man.
“ Yes ,” he whimpered assent.
The huge man was naked, naked that is, were it not for a pair of Pete's baggier boxer shorts that the man was currently sporting as though the y were nothing more than the mere suggestion of a thong .
“ My friends call me Bear ,” said Bear, holding out his hand to shake.
“ The hand that sunk a thousand ships ,” he thought , as he held out his own in response, fearing that it would never be seen again .
“ You see the thing is Pete, is that me and my Sarah are having an affair with you ,” Bear explained som ewhat cryptically, shaking hi s hand as he spoke.
The big guy's eyes then seemed to glaze over as if he was struggling to engage an organ rarely used, Bear's brain. Pete however, was utterly unaware of these quite considerable efforts, having entirely succumbed to the elation of receiving his hand back in recognisable form.
“ And the matter of the fact is, is that she don’ t want you no more ,” Bear finished triumphantly.
It took a while for Pete to get a grip on the situation, and decrypt the meaning that was hidden in the jumbled giant's language. Having finally accomplished this, he then found that his own control over the English language seemed to have forsaken him.
“ Can I with Sarah speak ?”
Bear paused, and stroking his beard as though attempting to portray the medium of thought, then replied:
“ Dunno, I'll go see ,” and with that, he went back into Pete's bedroom.
Having been left alone, Pete attempted a spot of rational thought. He had been fired, so he would get another job. His girlfriend was having an affair with a Bear man, but there were still plenty more fish in the sea. All in all, things were not all that bad, he would simply ask them to leave, sit down somewhere comfortable, and then begi n to plan a new life for himself . In fact, this might all turn out for the better, and as he was beginning to feel almost happy about things, Bear reappeared from the bedroom.
“ We want you to leave ,” he said.
“ What? !” c ried Pete , “ that isn't fair !”
“ Oh, I totally agree,” said Bear somewhat coolly , “ but she asked me to give you a good kicking if you don't leave immediately.”
“ What about all my stuff ?”
“ Hold on .”
Bear poked his giant head back into the bedroom.
“ We'll have it delivered ,” he resumed.
“ I sup pose there's nothing I can do then ,” Pete mumbled at Bear's feet.
“ No not really, not unless you're one of those Jackie Chan little guys ,” said Bear flexing his muscles as he spoke.
“ No, I tend to talk my way out of trouble ,” he replied dejectedly.
“ Well, by all means, talk away, but if you're not out of my house within the next couple of minutes, I'll bash you
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