Refuge Read Free Page A

left.”
       A sob racks her body again, and I wrap my arms tightly around her. I feel her try to hold in her tears, but her weeping gives way to fits that know no limits. It’s ugly, her mouth is open, her face is contorted, and deep guttural rasps as pain and grief-stricken as Matthew’s earlier come from her throat. I know if this continues she will break apart, and I don’t know if that would better or if there’s anything I can do to stop her from shattering before my eyes.
       I don’t know why I rock her gently, but that’s what I do. As I move back and forth and try to comfort her, I realize I don’t know the person I’m holding. I mean, it’s Sierra, but not the Sierra I left behind. So much has happened to her, to me, and neither of us is the person we were before.
       I don’t say anything for a long time, until she quiets.
       “We’re going to be okay, you know,” I say. “You and me, I mean. Like sisters, like before. It’s going to take time, but we will be.”
       She doesn’t reply. I stand and offer her my hand. Then I grab my rifle and head down the stairs, Sierra at my side.
       When One steps toward me seemingly out of nowhere, I know I’ve entered the place between places—the place of thoughts. Nanospace.
       “No, no,” I say, my voice breaking. “Not now, why now?”
       “That, you already know the answer to,” One says, speaking with Relic’s voice. “I would not be here if you did not activate me. You must stay connected to Luke. Don’t let him slip away. You won’t be able to control—he won’t be able to control—what happens if you don’t.”
       Both hands gripped tightly in fists, I say, “Send me back. Luke and Sierra need me.”
       “We need you,” One says. “We need you to live. Give us control, so we can identify a new threat we perceive.”
       As I step toward her, her translucence dissipates. “Control of what?” I say.
       “Control of you,” she says. “You’re in danger. There’s more happening than you understand, so much more than the ceaseless war between the Cogents and the Ardents.”
       I exhale, letting go of the breath I’ve been holding. “Tell me. Why do I feel like I lose parts of myself every time I see you?”
       One doesn’t like that I’m walking toward her. For every step I take, she takes one step back. “I’ve explained this. You know. The answer is deep within you.”
       Too much has happened, too much. For a moment, all I can think is, No it’s not, it’s really not. But something about this thought seems false. “Tell me again,” I shout, “I want to hear you say it.”
       “I was implanted to counter the Cogent implant in Luke. You don’t remember our conversations because I must erase our interactions from your memory. You remember only what you must.”
       I’m close enough to see the quicksilver behind One’s irises. “How? Why? What do you want from me?”
       “Your short-term memory is what’s open to the collective. We can’t risk any hint of us leaking through. We do these things to protect you. We know, sense, and see things you cannot.”
       I shake my head. I don’t want to hear this. How is anything that’s happened helping me? Why should I listen to anything she has to say?
       “Trust when I say you are in danger. Luke may not be wrong about Sierra, but I must see for myself to know for certain. If she’s connected to a collective, I must disconnect her or none of you are safe.”
       I snicker. “I want you out, gone. I never want to see you again. Do you understand me?”
       One looks confused. “It’s you who brings us together. You. I answer your call. I’m here only to help guide you as I’ve tried to explain before. You think it’s only the Cogents and the Ardents, but it isn’t. It’s so much more. The others. The Nascents. The Docents. The Erodents. The Regents.”
       “And the Lucents.