Red Queen Read Free

get a ticket. Go figure.
    â€œWhy do you say that?” Ted asked.
    â€œWe’ll never live that long. We’ll die of something else,” Alex said.
    â€œLike what?” Jimmy asked.
    Alex shrugged. “That’s my point. Here we’re worrying about carbon dioxide raising the temperature and now it turns out methane is the real culprit. That’s the way of the world, and the future. You can’t predict nothing.”
    â€œAnything,” Debbie muttered.
    â€œWhatever,” Alex said.
    â€œWhat are you majoring in at UCLA?” Jimmy asked Alex.
    â€œPsychology. I figure there’s going to be a lot of depressed people pretty soon.”
    â€œYou plan to cash in on their sorrows?” Debbie asked.
    â€œWhy not?” Alex replied.
    â€œYou’re so altruistic,” Debbie said sarcastically.
    Alex laughed. That was one of her great qualities—she was almost impossible to insult. “I’m a realist, that’s all.” She added, “Jessie thinks the same way I do.”
    â€œNot true,” I said. “No one thinks the same way you do.”
    Alex glanced over. “You have the same attitude. Don’t deny it.”
    â€œMy attitude changes from day to day.” Ever so slightly I shifted my head to the left, to where I could see Jimmy. I added, “Today I feel totally optimistic.”
    Jimmy was dressed simply, in jeans and a red short-sleeved shirt. His brown hair was a little long, a little messy, but to me it had been a source of endless thrills. It might have been because it was thick and fine at the same time, but when I used to run my fingers through it, I always got a rush. Especially when he would groan with pleasure. One night, I swear, I did nothing but play with his hair.
    His eyes matched his hair color, yet there was a softness to them, a kindness. People might think “kind” an odd word to apply to a guy but with Jimmy it fit. He was careful to make the people around him feel comfortable, and he didn’t have to say much to put others at ease.
    When we had dated, the one thing I had loved most about him was how he could sit across from me and stare into my eyes as I rambled on about my day. It didn’t matter what I said, he always made me feel like the most important person in the world.
    It had been early October when he asked me out. He came into the city library where I worked and we struck up a conversation in the back aisles. I knew he was dating Kari so I kept up a wall of sorts. I did it automatically, perhaps because I had liked him since our freshman year.
    He must have sensed it but he didn’t say anything about being broken up with Kari. It was possible they were not formally divorced at that exact moment. He kept the banter light. He wanted to know what I was going to do after graduation. He was in the same boat as me. Good grades, no money.
    He left the library without hitting on me for my number. But a week later he magically called and asked if I’d like to go to a movie. I said sure, even before he explained that he was free and single. He picked me up early on a Friday and asked if I felt like going to Hollywood. Great, I said, anything to get out of Apple Valley. We ended up having dinner and watching three movies at the Universal CityWalk. We didn’t get home until near dawn and when he kissed me good night, I was a total goner.
    First love—I still feel it’s the one that matters the most.
    We spent the next ten weeks together and it was perfect. I was in a constant state of joy. It didn’t matter if I ate or drank or slept. I just had to see him, think of him, and I’d feel happy.
    We made love after a month, or I should say after thirty dates. He swung by on a Saturday after work. He was a mechanic at the local Sears. My mother was at work at the nearby Denny’s, where she was the manager, and I was in the shower. I didn’tknow he was coming. Later, he said