Reckless Mind Read Free Page B

apologize in advance for whatever he does. He's...it's just not easy to be around Brandon.”
    I wanted to ask her what she meant, what had happened, but then I remembered I had my own answers to questions I didn't want asked and decided to leave it alone. We walked up to the house laughing over a story Emma was telling me, when the front door swung open.
    “I'm done having this conversation.” A guy stood with his back to us, one hand in his messy hair looking like he would pull it out any second. “It's my life, Ma, mine. If I screw it up, it's mine to screw up.” He wasn't raising his voice, he actually sounded like every word caused him physical pain.
    “Oh,” Jules noticed us standing behind him. “Brandon, sweetie, just bring yourself back in here, we,” but he cut her off.
    “No, Ma, I'm gone. I've been gone. Nothing you, dad, or Em can do about it so I wish y'all would just fucking stop already.” He was barely whispering, and if we had been any farther back I wouldn't have heard what he said. Emma grabbed my hand silently willing me not to turn around and run back to my car like I'm sure my face was showing I intended on doing.
    “Your sister seems to have picked a wonderful time to have company, Brandon.” Her voice seemed to carry a tone of warning to him, as she smiled at us over his shoulder.
    He slowly turned our direction, my eyes locked on his honey brown ones rimmed in the thickest darkest lashes I'd seen on a guy in my life, and instantaneously I felt pulled to him. I wanted to go to him, to free his hair from his fist, his bottom lip from his teeth, and his heart from whatever tormented it. This was the first time in my life I wanted to be close enough to another person, let alone a guy, to know everything about them....and I had no idea why. Whatever ate at his soul, I wanted to be the one to help him, I wanted to make it better for Brandon.
    I didn't understand what was going on with me in this moment. I felt like he had a control over a part of me without me having any say in it. Being drawn to someone isn't a new concept, I just never actually believed anyone before. Now I was questioning my own sanity.
    A sneer broke out over his lips, “Really fucking nice, Em. Why don't you not call again when you know I'm here so another insignificant little friend of yours can gawk at us while we air out our dirty laundry.” I flinched as if he'd slapped me across the face. The only guy to ever make me feel anything period, let alone an intense connection the moment I laid eyes on him, thought I was insignificant. Brandon noticed my reaction to his words, and for the briefest of moments regret flashed in his eyes, an apology almost fell from his lips. A blank stare covered up the whirling emotions there when he'd first looked at me, and instead he kept in on me, “What, can't you speak? You know, to give an apology for standing there listening to shit that isn't your business?”
    “Brandon!” Emma's mom said his name with contempt at his actions. At the same time as Emma finally let go of my hand and walked over to smack her brother on his arm. I could feel the tears welling in my eyes, and I was pretty sure I'd forgotten to breathe since he'd first spoken to me. Emma and her mother engaged in silent conversation, but I couldn't wait. I had to get out of there.
    I whispered, “I'm sorry,” to Brandon, not meeting his eyes again, and turned and ran to my car. I didn't stop when Emma called my name, I didn't stop as her mom called me sweetie and told me to please not leave. Turning the ignition, I dared a glance at Brandon as I backed out of the driveway. He was staring straight at me, the look on his face I couldn't place, annoyance or generally pissed off would be my best guess.
    I let myself go to that numb place. My safe place where I didn't have to feel all the emotions welling inside me. Being able to shut down like this helped me survive the life I came from, and it was still useful any time