Ravenous Read Free

was returning home from her T.O.P.S. meeting. T.O.P.S.—Take Off Pounds Sensibly—was a weight loss support group she met with every Tuesday night. On that particular Tuesday night, she had left the meeting early, right after the weigh-in, because she had a splitting headache. All she wanted to do was go home, take some aspirin, and sink into a hot bubble bath.
    That was not entirely true, that was not really all she wanted to do. What Emily really wanted to do was stop at the Carl’s Jr. on the way home and get a Double Western Bacon Cheeseburger.
    T.O.P.S. met in the neighboring town of Seaside, and Emily lived sixteen miles south in Big Rock. It was an inconvenience to drive over to Seaside every Tuesday, but it was worth it to her. She needed desperately to lose weight, and she could not do it on her own. She needed the kind of support she couldn’t get from anyone but other women struggling with their weight. Hugh tried to help, but she knew his heart was not in it. Hugh’s heart was not in much of anything lately—that was why she wanted so badly to lose a total of eighty-five pounds.
    They had not made love in over a year—close to a year and a half now. It made Emily sad to think about it, made a knot form in her chest, a soggy, thick knot, and her throat burned with gathering tears. They used to have so much fun together in bed. They’d been married for twelve years, and for most of those years, everything had been perfect, especially in the bedroom. But three kids and a lot of afternoon snacking later, Emily had packed on the pounds, and the incidents of lovemaking had grown farther and farther apart. She gave Hugh credit for one thing—not once had he ever mentioned her weight gain. He did not criticize her for it, or make snide remarks about it, not even when they fought. Emily knew other women at T.O.P.S. whose husbands were cruel about their weight, husbands who publicly ridiculed their wives, humiliating them and hurting them so badly that they only wanted to eat more—a vicious circle. But not Hugh. Instead, he’d simply become less and less affectionate. Hugs and kisses became more scarce, and it had been a long time since he’d affectionately grabbed her ass or tickled her or playfully squeezed her breasts. She missed those little things, and she was determined to get them back.
    Overall, it had been a good marriage, even though much of the life had gone out of it in recent years, mostly due to her laziness and her weight gain. She spent her days at home with Jeannie, their youngest at three. Donald, six, and Annie, eight, got home from school in the afternoon. Emily spent most of that time on the couch, eating while she watched old movies on television, and while Jeannie puttered and played around the room with her. There were days when she did not lift a finger to do any housework, and as a result, her once immaculate home looked dusty, cluttered, and a little too lived-in. Sometimes, Emily missed the early years of their marriage, when it had been just the two of them, herself and Hugh. Back when she was still a slender one hundred and nine pounds. She’d had a great body back then: Petite and compact; full chestnut hair that cascaded past her shoulders; clear, large brown eyes. Now her eyes seemed to have shrunk—her round fleshy cheeks had given them a piggy look that she hated. She had no illusions, she knew she would never be that svelte one hundred and nine again. But she planned to slim down to some semblance of her former self, for Hugh if for no other reason. Of course, she sometimes wondered what she would do if she met her weight-loss goal, and Hugh still had no interest in her. Had he fallen out of love with her? He was still considerate and treated her well—he left little notes for her on the fridge, and every once in awhile, he brought her flowers for no reason at all. Emily took comfort in that, and clung to the hope that, once