Rain Dance Read Free Page B

feminists who had gone before me.
    In my first big act of rebellion, I planned the wedding. My dad wrote the checks and celebrated my excitement. Eve made an appearance and only enjoyed the day when the press arrived. While she posed and postured, I danced and fantasized about my honeymoon.
    I considered telling her about the pregnancy. I knew it would displease her. I could feel her disdain over what she would assume was my lack of physical restraint and my misuse of birth control. I couldn’t tell her we’d used so many products I had no idea how one tiny cell from Mike connected with one from me. She’d take that as a lie and question my intelligence yet again.
    I’d find time to tell her later, after I made the reproductive choice she’d fought so hard for. I wanted to tell Dad, but couldn’t stand the possibility he might be happy to be a grandparent. Mother’s philosophy drove me on.
    I’d craved Eve’s acceptance for as long as I could remember. Moving ahead of my class in elementary school and graduating from high school and college early weren’t enough. None of my accomplishments satisfied her. She continued to push me on to yet bigger things.
    I checked the time on the watch Eve had given me for college graduation. The silver scales-of-justice charm twinkled in the artificial light. After not reading a single word in my book, I closed it. Jonica came around the corner, clutching her purse as if holding on for dear life. She hesitated as though unsure which direction to go.
     
     
    The nurse called out, “Stacie Cutter.”
    I rose and followed her down the hallway, glad for the sterile environment. The room’s vinyl couch and medical instruments provided a sense of cold detachment. It was all business here, which worked for me.
    After a brief wait, Dr. Steele entered. “Good morning, Mrs. Cutter.”
    “Stacie please, Doctor.”
    He smiled. “What can I do for you today?”
    “I’m pregnant and I want an abortion.”
    He asked a few medical questions then, “How far along do you think you are?”
    “About eight weeks. I just missed my second period.”
    He handed me a gown. “Please go into the dressing room and put this on.”
    Following a short exam, and discussion about my home pregnancy test, he washed and dried his hands, then helped me off the examination table.
    “Get dressed, and I’ll give you a recommendation.”
    I put my clothes on and returned to the vinyl couch, its coolness reaching through my jeans.
    Dr. Steele handed me a business card. Printed in raised black letters were a doctor’s name and the address of a women’s clinic.
    “Dr. Adams is professional and thorough. I’ve known her for years.”
    “Where is this clinic?”
    Opening the blind, he pointed. “Right there.”
    The small brick building across the street had only the number 123 on the glass door. “Why no sign?”
    “To try to keep radical pro-lifers from bombing the place. They always seem to find us.”
    “Has the clinic been threatened?”
    “No.”
    I’d never understood what Eve and others in the pro-choice movement feared. Abortion was legal, and although a couple of twisted radicals had attacked clinics, Eve’s team seemed to enjoy lumping all their opposition into the same category. It made no sense to me.
    On the sidewalk outside the building stood an older couple holding hands, their gray heads bowed.
    “Those two are there Monday through Friday,” Dr. Steele told me.
    “They don’t look much like mad bombers.”
    “Beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing. Just because it hasn’t happened here yet doesn’t mean it won’t.” He snapped the blind shut.
    Handing me a booklet, he said, “Here’s some information you’ll need to prepare for the procedure.”
    “Thanks.”
    He opened the door and followed me into the hallway. “Have a nice day, Stacie.”
    “Thanks. I will. You too.” I walked to the elevators, reaching into my purse for my phone. I punched the speed dial number for