Rain 01 When It Rains Read Free Page B

me one reason!” he yells, gripping his hair between his fingers.
    “You don’t want to hear it. Trust me,” I cry, covering my mouth with my hand. Just thinking about telling him everything makes the bile rise from my stomach. No one wants to hear that good little Kate isn’t who they think she is. She’s been damaged.
    “Try me,” he says, sounding tired and frustrated. “Nothing you tell me will change the way I feel about you. Nothing.”
    I shake my head and start walking again.
    “Kate come back here!” he shouts. And part of me wants to. Part of me wants to go back to him and wrap my arms around his neck and never let go, but I can’t.
    I ignore him and climb into the truck, watching him stare toward the water with his hands on his hips. I wanted him so badly at one point in my life, but he deserves so much more than the shell of who I once was. I watch as he picks up a large rock and throws it in the water before wrenching the blanket into a ball and heading toward the truck.
    I’m dreading the awkward, silent ride home, and when he kicks his front driver’s side tire before climbing in the truck, I know I may have pushed him a little too far this time. He’s tried to find out what happened to me many times over the past two years, but this is the first time he’s ever kissed me. In a way, I’ve rejected the one person who I should be holding onto.
    He sits in the truck and slams his door shut. I want to look over at him, but I can’t bring myself to do it. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. I’m not sure if he hears me . . . he doesn’t respond.
    As he drives me home, he looks lost in his own world, and I know I’m the one who put him there. I want him to be happy, but I’m not the person who can give him that.
     
    He didn’t come over to my house for six days afterward. He didn’t call or text. I thought I’d finally pushed him too far, but on day seven he knocked on my door, proving why he really is the only guy I can trust.
    Since that night, Beau and I have gone back to the way we had been the last two years. I keep him close enough for comfort, but far enough not to let him see inside. Somehow, he can always read me, though, and I both love and hate him for it.
    We also haven’t been back to the lake since that night. In fact, we haven’t gone anywhere. We’ve either hung out around his house or mine. Maybe it’s because I’m afraid of what might happen between us if we’re alone. Maybe I’m afraid of what I might tell Beau if he tries hard enough to break down my walls. I’m scared of everything these days.
    This may be one of the last days we will have together for a while, so I agreed to go to the lake with him. It holds so many good memories from my past, and I can’t help but think that what happened last time could have been a good memory too. I have lots of moments I’d like to hold on to forever, but I’m afraid they will always be overshadowed by that one horrible memory I can’t let go of.
     

 
    A KNOCK AT THE DOOR IS A WELCOME BREAK . I peek through the window and see the back of Beau’s head with all its tousled dark hair and I instantly feel my chest tighten. This is going to be much harder than I’d thought.
    I reach for the doorknob and take a deep breath. He turns around as I open the door and gives me the dimple-bearing smile I love so much. My eyes meet his bright blue ones, and I see some of the sadness I feel reflected in them.
    This isn’t going to be easy on either of us.
    “Hey,” Beau says, pulling me in for a hug. I breathe in the smell of his soap. Not that I need to; I can close my eyes and remember exactly what he smells like any time I want.
    “Hey,” I say, pulling back and wrapping my hands around his arms. “Are you all ready to go tomorrow?”
    The smile falls from his face. “Everything is ready to go. I wanted to make sure I could spend the rest of my day with you.”
    I can’t decide if I should cry or smile. He’s the sweetest,