Pushing the Envelope: A Prequel from "The Barter System" World Read Free Page B

filled with a grief so thick, it could be tasted on the air. 
    After the funeral and an endless procession of well-meaning people, Tawny crawled in bed with her best friend and held her as she sobbed painfully hard. 
    “My fault…it’s my fault.”
    At the time, she didn’t know why Riya felt that way but she let her get it all out.  When necessary, she wiped her face or helped her blow her nose. 
    Inside, she screamed and screamed.  Her own grief over Dalia’s loss was a rock in her chest that chafed and burned.  Riya’s mother seemed branded on every cell and every memory. 
    Outwardly, Tawny was steady for her best friend, her sister, the kindest person she’d ever known, the woman she loved so much more than she had ever loved herself. 
    In all their lives, they’d never really needed each other.  Their friendship was a choice they actively made.  Not because of the history between their parents or their close proximity but because their puzzle pieces fit. 
    When Riya’s grief sapped her usual strength and left her vulnerable, Tawny was determined to lend her own.
    They would make it through to the other side together.

Chapter Four
     
    October 2004
    More than a year after they buried Dalia, something happened that changed Tawny’s life from the ground up. 
    No one who loved her knew. 
    Caught up in a combination of grief and a crushing expectation of perfection from herself, Riya worked day and night to bury every emotion. 
    Maggie was stuck in a loop of her own bone-deep sadness and her desperation to pull Archer from his. 
    She received regular updates from Marta at the O’Connell household and Jaslene, her counterpart at the Ratliff home.  The women were quick to ask for her advice and Tawny was always willing to give it as long as they didn’t mention her name. 
    There were times she could force Riya out of her own head but it didn’t get rid of her worry that her best friend was in trouble. 
    When she wasn’t in school, she withdrew into herself.  School and her writing kept her mind off a situation that was rapidly deteriorating. 
    There was no laughter and she never rested. 
    As Riya internalized, Tawny worked to feed her mind and her spirit all the knowledge about the world they seemed ravenous to consume. 
    She spent time with Arnie.  He was a good man, a nice man, and she wished it was possible for her to love him. 
    After four years, she knew she never would.
    One night, they were leaving one of her favorite restaurants hand in hand and were mugged by two men in the parking lot next door. 
    Within seconds, Arnie was stabbed several times trying to protect her and never took his eyes off her face as he fell to the ground. 
    Her mind in a red rage at the sight of the gentlest man she’d ever known bleeding in front of her, Tawny prepared to fight both attackers. 
    She never heard the third man sneak up behind her.  He hit her in the head with something heavy and when she regained consciousness, she was naked and battered on the wet concrete beneath her car. 
    Her surroundings were muffled and dim.
    Understanding what had happened to her but refusing to deal with it until she checked Arnie, she rolled from under the vehicle, found her shirt, and winced at the horrible pain between her legs. 
    Crawling to his side, she held a hand that had never been cold and sobbed until a car skidded to a stop behind her.  Police lights gave the scene an eerie blue glow.
    She leaned down so her lips were beside Arnie’s ear.  “I’ll miss you hard.  Thank you for being good to me.”
    Then the world rushed in bright and loud again. 
    Paramedics attended to her while she watched the crime scene people photograph the scene, examine Arnie’s body, and finally zip him into a black bag. 
    The female officer who took her statement mentioned that there would be a trial and that it was important that Tawny be prepared to testify.
    Numbly, she replied, “There will never be a trial