does a lot - and asks me what I am thinking about, I am usually thinking about this one certain person.
And that person isn't Kenny. It isn't Kenny at all. It is Lilly's older brother, Michael Moscovitz, whom I have loved for - oh, I don't know, MY ENTIRE LIFE.
Not that he even knows I am alive, except as his little sister's best friend, but whatever.
Which is why I have decided I have to tell him. Kenny, I mean. About how I really feel.
That's why my life is over. Because how do you say to somebody who wants to hold your hand in the movies that you don't like him in that way? Especially when he's already asked you out a bunch of times and you've gone. And you knew full well
the whole time that he wasn't asking you as a friend — he was asking you as a potential life mate.
Or a royal consort, as Grandmere would say.
Wait, though. It gets worse.
Because now it's like everybody considers us this big item. You know? Now we're Kenny-and-Mia. Now, instead of Lilly
and me hanging out together Saturday nights, it's Lilly-and-Boris and Kenny-and-Mia. Sometimes my friend Tina Hakim Baba, and her boyfriend, Dave Farouq El-Abar, and my other friend Shameeka Taylor, and her boyfriend, Daryl Gardner, join us, making it Lilly-and-Boris and Kenny-and-Mia and Tina-and-Dave and Shameeka-and-Daryl.
So if Kenny and I break up, not only will it be this very big deal, but who am I going to hang around with on Saturday nights?
I mean, seriously. Lilly-and-Boris and Tina-and-Dave and Shameeka-and-Daryl won't want just plain Mia along. I'll be like
this seventh wheel.
Not to mention, if Kenny and I break up, who will I go to the Non-Denominational Winter Dance with?
Oh, God, I have to go now. Lilly-and-Boris and Tina-and-Dave and Kenny and I are supposed to go ice-skating at the Rockefeller Center.
All I can say is, be careful what you wish for. It iust might come true.
Saturday, December 5, 11 p.m.
OK, remember how I thought my life was over because I have a boyfriend now and I don't really like him in that way, and I have to break up with him without hurting his feelings, which is, I guess, probably impossible?
Yeah, well, I didn't know how over my life could actually be.
Not until last night, anyway.
That's right. Last night, when Lilly-and-Boris and Tina-and-Dave and Mia-and-Kenny were joined by a new couple, Michael-and-Judith.
That's right: Lilly's brother Michael showed up at the ice-skating rink, and he brought with him the president of the Computer Club - of which he is treasurer - Judith Gershner.
Judith Gershner, like Michael, is a senior at Albert Einstein High School. Judith Gershner, like Michael, is on the Honour Roll.
Judith Gershner, like Michael, will probably get into every college she applies to, because Judith Gershner, like Michael, is brilliant.
In fact, Judith Gershner, like Michael, won a prize last year at the Albert Einstein High School Annual Bio-Medical Technology Fair for her science project, in which she actually cloned a fruit fly.
She cloned a fruit fly.
At home. In her bedroom.
Judith Gershner knows how to clone fruit flies in her bedroom. And me? Yeah, I can't even multiply fractions.
Hmm, gee, I don't know. If you were Michael Moscovitz - you know, a straight-A student who got into Columbia early decision - who would you rather go out with? A girl who can clone fruit flies in her bedroom, or a girl who is getting a D
in Freshman Algebra, in spite of the fact that her mother is married to her Algebra teacher?
Not that there's even a chance of Michael ever asking me out. I mean, I have to admit, there were a couple of times when
I thought he might. But that was clearly just wishful thinking on my part. I mean, why would a guy like Michael, who does
really well in school and will probably excel at whatever career he ultimately chooses, ever ask out a girl like me, who would have flunked out of the ninth grade by now if it hadn't been for all those extra tutoring sessions
And that person isn't Kenny. It isn't Kenny at all. It is Lilly's older brother, Michael Moscovitz, whom I have loved for - oh, I don't know, MY ENTIRE LIFE.
Not that he even knows I am alive, except as his little sister's best friend, but whatever.
Which is why I have decided I have to tell him. Kenny, I mean. About how I really feel.
That's why my life is over. Because how do you say to somebody who wants to hold your hand in the movies that you don't like him in that way? Especially when he's already asked you out a bunch of times and you've gone. And you knew full well
the whole time that he wasn't asking you as a friend — he was asking you as a potential life mate.
Or a royal consort, as Grandmere would say.
Wait, though. It gets worse.
Because now it's like everybody considers us this big item. You know? Now we're Kenny-and-Mia. Now, instead of Lilly
and me hanging out together Saturday nights, it's Lilly-and-Boris and Kenny-and-Mia. Sometimes my friend Tina Hakim Baba, and her boyfriend, Dave Farouq El-Abar, and my other friend Shameeka Taylor, and her boyfriend, Daryl Gardner, join us, making it Lilly-and-Boris and Kenny-and-Mia and Tina-and-Dave and Shameeka-and-Daryl.
So if Kenny and I break up, not only will it be this very big deal, but who am I going to hang around with on Saturday nights?
I mean, seriously. Lilly-and-Boris and Tina-and-Dave and Shameeka-and-Daryl won't want just plain Mia along. I'll be like
this seventh wheel.
Not to mention, if Kenny and I break up, who will I go to the Non-Denominational Winter Dance with?
Oh, God, I have to go now. Lilly-and-Boris and Tina-and-Dave and Kenny and I are supposed to go ice-skating at the Rockefeller Center.
All I can say is, be careful what you wish for. It iust might come true.
Saturday, December 5, 11 p.m.
OK, remember how I thought my life was over because I have a boyfriend now and I don't really like him in that way, and I have to break up with him without hurting his feelings, which is, I guess, probably impossible?
Yeah, well, I didn't know how over my life could actually be.
Not until last night, anyway.
That's right. Last night, when Lilly-and-Boris and Tina-and-Dave and Mia-and-Kenny were joined by a new couple, Michael-and-Judith.
That's right: Lilly's brother Michael showed up at the ice-skating rink, and he brought with him the president of the Computer Club - of which he is treasurer - Judith Gershner.
Judith Gershner, like Michael, is a senior at Albert Einstein High School. Judith Gershner, like Michael, is on the Honour Roll.
Judith Gershner, like Michael, will probably get into every college she applies to, because Judith Gershner, like Michael, is brilliant.
In fact, Judith Gershner, like Michael, won a prize last year at the Albert Einstein High School Annual Bio-Medical Technology Fair for her science project, in which she actually cloned a fruit fly.
She cloned a fruit fly.
At home. In her bedroom.
Judith Gershner knows how to clone fruit flies in her bedroom. And me? Yeah, I can't even multiply fractions.
Hmm, gee, I don't know. If you were Michael Moscovitz - you know, a straight-A student who got into Columbia early decision - who would you rather go out with? A girl who can clone fruit flies in her bedroom, or a girl who is getting a D
in Freshman Algebra, in spite of the fact that her mother is married to her Algebra teacher?
Not that there's even a chance of Michael ever asking me out. I mean, I have to admit, there were a couple of times when
I thought he might. But that was clearly just wishful thinking on my part. I mean, why would a guy like Michael, who does
really well in school and will probably excel at whatever career he ultimately chooses, ever ask out a girl like me, who would have flunked out of the ninth grade by now if it hadn't been for all those extra tutoring sessions
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