PORN STARS... More Than Just Moans Read Free Page A

always comes up with one during or after his test drive,” DeeDee said, laughing.
    “Well, I’m going to let you get ready. And remember, don’t pay that white ho no mind. She’s just lucky that the right bitch hasn’t come along forcing the Breeze to blow the other way.”
    Getting ready to do something that makes you nervous is always the hard part. Before you bring yourself to do it, your mind plays so many tricks on you that you start to think that you’re insane. I was starting to think that taking my time in the shower wasn’t such a good idea. It gave me time to think about my mother and father. What would they think? Could they really deal with me being a porn star? Could I wake up in the morning and not think of myself as trash? Maybe I couldn’t.
    “I’m ready for you, honey,” a voice called from the door. She told me that her name was Kayla and that’s she was from hair and make-up. I grabbed my things and hurried downstairs with her. Anymore time alone in that locker room would have had me heading home in tears.
    “Hi, I’m Jasmine,” I said as I extended my hand. She took it and brought the palm of my hand close to her face.
    “What a big heart you have, but you must be very careful. There may be an incident in your future that could leave you lost and damaged.”
    I looked down at my hand and saw nothing.
    “Don’t worry, honey; at least, I see big money coming your way.”
    “So what’s better, a sense of self or money?”
    I waited as she thought about it. Because I didn’t know the answer for myself, I was eager to hear her opinion.
    “Different strokes for different folks, honey. I have made my choices and you will have to make your own. That’s just how life works. Now, sit down before Breeze comes down here.”
    Kayla did my makeup as we made small talk. She never did give me an outright answer to my question, but she did tell me a little bit about herself. She told me that she tried the porn thing, but that it really wasn’t for her. She laughed her way through her story of Breeze’s father test driving her.
    “The trick is to picture the man that gave you the best orgasm that you ever had. Close your eyes if you have to and just let it take over your body.”
    I stayed quiet as she spoke. I wasn’t going to let her in on my little secret yet. No need to have her laugh behind my back and let everyone know how inexperienced I was.
    Before I knew it, I was being turned around to face myself. At least, I thought it was me.
    “First time seeing yourself in this much makeup, huh? Well, this is porn makeup. Get used to it.”
    I sat and stared at myself, trying to find the real me. The only thing that looked the same was my eyes; other than that, I was void of my old self. I thought, hey, maybe I could use this to my advantage.
    “If you think that this is something, wait ‘til you’re pumped full of silicone and your hair is dyed jet black or platinum blonde.”
    “That will never happen. My 32 Bs are all right with me. Plus, men have always liked my breasts the way they are,” I answered, with all of the conviction I had in my body.
    “Yeah, that’s what they all say, then, less than a year later, you all look like manufactured Barbies. Anyways, it looks like it’s show time,” Kayla said, as she pointed to the green light that was aglow at her station.
    “Just remember to close your eyes and picture the man of your dreams.”
    With Kayla’s words in mind, I forced my legs to move and take the steps to the future that I had paved for myself.
     
    *****
     
    I stood behind the double doors with clammy and shaky hands. I wiped them on the skimpy outfit that was given to me and took in a deep breath. I could hear Mr. Breeze asking about my whereabouts, and although I knew that it was show time, I couldn’t convince myself to push them open.
    “Will someone go see about that damn girl?” I heard him semi-scream. Not wanting to draw more attention to myself by having