Polkacide Read Free Page A

there, I was actually
caught up in the suspense. Polish Lou's showmanship had broken
through even my tough exterior.
    The kids down in front
couldn't stand the suspense either. They were hopping up and down,
clawing at the stage, having conniptions. Milly spoke for all of
them. " What? What's it say? "
    Basil slipped two tanned fingers into
the envelope and drew out a folded sheet of paper. He cleared his
throat as he unfolded it, playing up the drama.
    Then, he started reading.
"Dear fellow polka lovers!" The drum roll continued in the
background as Basil's voice rang over the crowd. "As you know, I've
been called the Prince of Pennsylvania Polka."
    The crowd roared its
approval.
    "But now that the Prince is dead, who will
rule his kingdom ?"
Basil paused and looked around the banquet hall for dramatic
effect. "Who will be my successor ?"
    " Who? Who? "
squeaked one of the kids down in front.
    "Who will carry on the
tradition of great polka music as leader of my band, Polish Fly?"
read Basil. "Who will continue to broadcast three hours of
polkatacular tunetasticness every Saturday morning and Sunday
afternoon on my radio show, Kocham
Taniec ?
    "Who will organize the
annual Polkapourri festival that has become an institution for New
Krakow and the entire tri-state area?
    "And who will manage Polish
Lou Enterprises now that Polish Lou is gone?" Basil stopped reading
aloud, though his eyes kept scanning the page. He got a funny look
on his face, a kind of smirking frown, like he wasn't sure he'd
read the letter correctly. Then he shrugged, nodded, and gazed out
at the crowd. "I'll tell you who!
    " She will!" With that, Basil swung an
arm around and pointed directly at Peg.
    The drum roll ended with a
rim shot, and the crowd cheered like crazy. Eddie Sr. and Eddie Jr.
played wild strains on their accordions. In front of the stage, the
kids spun and jumped and gyrated like human popcorn in their little
suits and dresses.
    Glancing at the Furies, I
saw the three of them looked more thoroughly disgusted than ever.
One thing they all had in common and shared with me was an undying
hatred of Polish Peg.
    As for the Clown herself,
she beamed and waved with pure delight. If I hadn't known any
better, I might've thought she'd just won the Miss America pageant
or an Academy Award.
    Clapping politely, I turned away and
looked for the best place to step down from the stage. The crowd
was slightly thinner by the corner, so maybe that would be a good
exit point.
    Just as I took a step toward
the corner, Basil called out behind me. "And she will, too!"
    I swear, everyone in the banquet hall
gasped at once. Except me.
    "That's right!" said Basil.
"I'm talking about you , Lottie!"
    At the mention of my name, I spun to
face him. "Me, what?"
    "You're the co-queen of Lou's
kingdom, that's what!" Basil lunged over and grabbed my arm, then
hauled it high like I'd just won a prize fight. "Ladies and
polkamen! Meet the new rulers of Polka Land! Lou's own daughter,
Lottie..." Basil grabbed Peg's arm and hefted it overhead alongside
mine. "...and his partner, the love of his life, Polish
Peg!"
    The crowd went berserk. Cameras
flashed in my eyes as Eddie Sr. and Eddie Jr. launched into "Hail
to the Chief" on their accordions.
    Dazed, I leaned forward and
looked past Basil at Peg. The look on her clownish face said it
all.
    She was as surprised as I was. And
just about as happy.
    Which, let me tell you,
wasn't happy at all.

Chapter 5
     
    Three hours later, the shock was still
setting in. So was the unhappiness.
    Mom and Baba Tereska knew
it, and they cut me some slack. The three of us sat outside that
night, side by side on the squeaky glider on Baba's front porch. It
was a perfect opportunity for the mother/grandmother tag team to
nag me to the brink of insanity--but for once, no one hassled me
about my poor choices or need for improvement. We were united by
our mutual loathing of our common enemy.
    "I can't imagine dealing
with that woman on a regular