Pinheads and Patriots Read Free Page A

conversations? If you think this isn’t going to change the United States very soon, you’re a Pinhead. This is BIG.
    Here’s the kid chart from Kaiser:
Watching TV
4.5 hours a day
Listening to music
2.5 hours a day
Talking on cell phones
30 minutes a day
Playing video games
1.3 hours a day
Text messaging
1.5 hours a day
Nonschool computer use
1.5 hours a day
    Note that the chart’s data accounts for the fact that each child has a different profile. Kaiser essentially pooled the information to come up with an average of total daily machine intrusion time. The numbers, of course, make the situation crystal clear: American children are hooked on tech, and the unintended consequences of that will radically change our society and country.
    The Way We Were
    In my house when I was growing up, we had a kitchen blender, a TV, and a few radios. Machine time was slim. Despite that, there wasn’t much parent/kid chat, as I illustrated in my previous book, A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity . At the nightly dinner table, my sister and I were held captive, since we had no escape from whatever my father and mother wanted to drop on us.
    A sample conversation went like this:
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    Bill O’Reilly Sr.: These potatoes are great, aren’t they? Why aren’t you eating them, son?
    Bill O’Reilly Jr.: Aren’t these instant potatoes? They aren’t real, are they, Mom?
    Mom: There’s no difference, honey.
    Senior: Eat them, okay? Janet, you’re not eating your potatoes, either.
    Janet: Mmmmm.
    Senior: Good peas, Mom. Kids, eat your peas.
    Junior: Are these instant peas?
    Senior: There’s no such thing as instant peas. EAT THEM!
    Junior [ points to Janet ]: She’s not eating her peas. Why are you picking on me? It’s not fair.
    Senior: We don’t waste food in this house! I want the potatoes and peas eaten.
    Junior: I have to go to the bathroom.
    Senior: You’ll hold it until the potatoes and peas are gone.
    Mom: Just eat up, kids, and then there’s Oreos for dessert.
    Junior: Mom, if you mix an Oreo with the peas, I might be able to eat them.
    Senior: Don’t be a wise guy. You know what happens to wise guys in this house.
    Junior: Is it possible to be a wise girl? Janet’s not eating anything.
    Janet: Am, too.
    Senior: That’s enough. Eat your dinner. No more talking.
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    That kind of family interaction has made thousands of psychotherapists wealthy.
    Forty Years and Twenty-Eight Days Later
    Now, let’s fast-forward and listen to a contemporary family dinner conversation featuring Dad, Mom, Josh, and Abigail.
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    Dad: What’s playing on your iPod, Abby?
    Abby [ Bobs her head to the tune. She does not hear Dad .]
    Dad [ louder ]: Abby!
    Abby [ looking up, annoyed ]: What? Can’t you see I’m listening to my music, Dad?
    Dad: What are you listening to?
    Abby [ now looking really annoyed ]: Black Eyed Peas. Why?
    Dad: Because it’s impolite to listen to music at the table. Your mother and I would like to talk to you.
    Abby: Why?
    Dad: Josh, put that thing down!
    Josh [ lowering his Nintendo DS, which features a fast-moving game in which guys blow each other up ]: Why?
    Mom: Look, you two. We are having dinner as a family. This is family time.
    Abby: I’m not hungry.
    Josh: I’m not, either.
    Dad: Well, you are still going to sit here and talk to us.
    Abby: I have nothing to say.
    Josh: I’m bored.
    Dad: What did you do today, Abby?
    Abby: Listened to music, texted my friends, played with my Wii.
    Mom: How about you, Josh, what did you do?
    Josh: Played Madden NFL on the computer, watched G.I. Joe on video, played with my DS.
    Dad: Pass the potatoes.
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    My father passed away in 1986, and I cannot imagine him dealing with the high-tech age. He was a Depression-era kid and a naval officer during World War II; all of his experiences came from face-to-face human interaction. He even hated talking on the phone. In fact, I never saw my